April chit chat

MyGirlKylie wrote:I ran across a 5 acre paddock, across the road, down a hill of tall grass in the neighbor's field. Did I mention that I was wearing shorts & flip flops?

My FIL is an idiot asshole and I'm more out of shape than I thought after running all that way.
LOL

Great story MyGirl. Did you look like George when he was running in Descendents in flip flops? LOL And, I used to have an FIL like that.

cindigirl wrote:Did you look like George when he was running in Descendents in flip flops? LOL

God, I hope not! LMAO

MGK - FIL's the world over are a pain in the butt it seems!!!

Great story - its a real shame no-one thought to stop and film this so we could all have a laugh with you!. If I ran through 5acres in flip flops I'd be posting this from my hospital bed.

theminis wrote:MGK - FIL's the world over are a pain in the butt it seems!!!

Great story - its a real shame no-one thought to stop and film this so we could all have a laugh with you!. If I ran through 5acres in flip flops I'd be posting this from my hospital bed.

LOLOL Me, too!!!

I wouldn't make the first 5 metres !

I think we should have a thread called
"What MyGirlKylie, Her Horses and Her FIL Did Next"
and have weekly reports hot off the press.

so then
sorry...
but what the h is
FIL!??!?!

In MGK's story she calls her father in law FIL ...OK ?

Happy Weekend everyone. Just thought I would give an update on my friend...it has been a rough week for her but while surgery appears to be out there is a glimmer of hope in a new procedure that will pin point the tumors....again it is just a glimmer but it is better than nothing. I want to thank everyone for their support and prayers....I know it has helped.

For those who think they know everything, here's a few tidbits:

No piece of paper can be folded in half more than seven (7) times. Oh go ahead...I'll wait...

Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes or shark attacks. (So, watch your Ass )

You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television.

The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum.

American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one (1) olive from each salad served in first-class.

Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise. (Since Venus is normally associated with women, what does this tell you!)
(That women are going the 'right' direction...?)

Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.

Most dust particles in your house are made from DEAD SKIN!

The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer. So did the first 'Marlboro Man'.

Walt Disney was afraid OF MICE!

The three most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, Coca Cola, and Budweiser, in that order.

It is possible to lead a cow upstairs... but, not downstairs.

Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least six (6) feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush. (I keep my toothbrush in the living room now!)

And the best for last....
Turtles can breathe through their butts. (I know some people like that, don't YOU?)

So....................... Remember, knowledge is everything, so pass it on... and go move your toothbrush!!!

That's an interesting list cindi. I always wonder how someone
knows all that stuff, don't you ?

Have you found the green squares yet on everyone's posts ?
Not on your own.


"So....................... Remember, knowledge is everything, so pass it on... and go move your toothbrush!!!"

Mine has always lived in a mug with my toothpaste,
inside a cupboard in the bathroom.
AND...the toilet is NEVER flushed without the LID closed,
yes even by hubby !

Joanna wrote:Have you found the green squares yet on everyone's posts ? Not on your own.

"So....................... Remember, knowledge is everything, so pass it on... and go move your toothbrush!!!"

Hi - yes I'm still deprived of the green squares on everyone's post, so if I like someone's post I'll just give them a positive thought. In fact I just gave YOU a thumbs up.

And by the way I threw all my old toothbrushes away and am keeping the new ones secretly locked up in a secure place in my house. Shhhh.

Thanks LOL

There's one for you then

Thanks Joanna - 200 points - so now I'm officially Clooney-looney. But we all knew that before.

Did you know that you're "Clooney-looney!" because of the number of your posts, cindi,
not your Clooney-licicousness points of 200 ?

Lmao @ having a weekly horse adventure post. We are going riding tomorrow so I'll keep you guys in mind if something happens.

Happy Hacking !

Joanna wrote:Did you know that you're "Clooney-looney!" because of the number of your posts, cindi,
not your Clooney-licicousness points of 200 ?

Yes, I do know that, but 3,513 posts from me. Never mind Clooney-looney, I should be married to the guy for heaven's sake. LOL

I wouldn't wish that on you cindi

Best to admire from afar.... IMO anyway

Thanks Joanna - so that means you don't want anybody picking me apart. LOL

You're a good friend.

thanks Jo
and your avatar is good now
laaaaarger!

silly girl wrote:Happy Weekend everyone. Just thought I would give an update on my friend...it has been a rough week for her but while surgery appears to be out there is a glimmer of hope in a new procedure that will pin point the tumors....again it is just a glimmer but it is better than nothing. I want to thank everyone for their support and prayers....I know it has helped.

thanks for the update, SG! Peace and health to both you and your friend.

Happy IVGLDSW Day!

Today is International Very Good Looking, Damn Smart Woman's Day,
so please send this message to someone you think fits this description. Please do not send it back to me as I have already received it from a Very Good Looking, Damn Smart Woman! And remember this motto to live by: Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, wine in the other, totally worn out and screaming 'WOOO HOOOOO what a ride!'

To the Girls !!

Inside every older person is a younger person -- wondering what the hell happened.

Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out. But I can usually shut her up with cookies.

The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.

I refuse to think of them as chin hair. I think of them as stray eyebrows.

Old age ain't no place for sissies.

Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.

If you can't be a good example ~ then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.

I'm not going to vacuum until Sears makes one you can ride on.

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman

Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.

When life hands you lemons, ask for tequila and salt and call me over!

i post this with no intent to upset anyone....
It just made me laff !

ROFL great video. It made me laugh too and I didn't take offense. After all he was smart enough to slam everyone. LOL

I'm also posting with no intent to offend anyone.

What can I say, I thought it was funny.

It has been leaked to the Press, that Barack Obama has chosen
Sylvester Stallone for his 2012 running mate and Nancy Pelosi for Secretary of State.*

They will run as "Sambo, Rambo and Bimbo".

thanks Silly
hope the best

Good one cindi

cindigirl wrote:4 Things you might not have known about your Cell Phone

For all the folks with cell phones. (This should be printed and kept in your car, purse, and wallet.
There are a few things that can be done in times of grave emergencies.
Your mobile phone can actually be a life saver or an emergency tool for survival.
Check out the things that you can do with it:

FIRST (Emergency)
The Emergency Number worldwide for Mobile is 112. If you find yourself out of the coverage area of your mobile network and there is an Emergency, dial 112 and the mobile will search any existing network to establish the emergency number for you, and interestingly, this number 112 can be dialed even if the keypad is locked. Try it out.
SECOND (Hidden Battery Power)
Imagine your cell battery is very low. To activate, press the keys *3370#. Your cell phone will restart with this reserve and the instrument will show a 50% increase in battery. This reserve will get charged when you charge your cell phone next time.
THIRD (How to disable a STOLEN mobile phone? )
To check your Mobile phone's serial number, key in the following Digits on your phone: *#06#. A 15-digit code will appear on the screen. This number is unique to your handset. Write it down and keep it somewhere safe. If your phone is stolen, you can phone your service provider and give them this code. They will then be able to block your handset so even if the thief changes the SIM card, your phone will be totally useless. You probably won't get your phone back, but at least you know that whoever stole it can't use/sell it either. If everybody does this, there would be no point in people stealing mobile phones.
FOURTH (Free Directory Service for Cells)
Cell phone companies are charging us $1.00 to $1.75 or more for 411 information calls when they don't have to. Most of us do not carry a telephone directory in our vehicle, which makes this situation even more of a problem. When you need to use the 411 information option, simply dial:
(800) FREE411 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting +18003733411 "> (800) FREE411 end_of_the_skype_highlighting or (800) 373-3411
without incurring any charge at all. Program this into your cell phone now.

This is the kind of information people don't mind receiving, so pass it on to your family and friends.

Only the last two are worthy of truth, and still not on all phones.
http://www.truthorfiction.com/rumors/c/cell%20phones.htm

The Emergency Number for Cell Phones Worldwide is 112-Fiction!

You Can Unlock Your Car Remotely Through a Cell Phone-Fiction!

There May be Hidden Battery Power in Your Cell Phone-Fiction!

Dial *#06# on Your Cell Phone to Get a Code That Will Disable Your Phone-Truth!

and 1-800-free411 is also truth

At the regular Saturday morning service, the rabbi announced that he was planning to leave for a larger congregation that would pay him more.

There is a hush within the congregation.
No one wants him to leave because he is so popular.

Fred Silverstein, who owns several car dealerships in Newton and Brookline, stands up and proclaims
"If the rabbi stays, I will provide him with a new Cadillac every year and his wife with a Honda mini-van to transport their children!"

The congregation sighs in appreciation and applauds.

Saul Cohen, a successful businessman and lawyer, stands and says, "If the rabbi will stay on here, I'll personally double his salary and establish a foundation to guarantee a free college education
for his children!"

More sighs and loud applause.

Estelle Rubin, age 88, stands and announces with a smile,
"If the rabbi stays, I will give him sex!"

There is total silence.

The rabbi, blushing, asks her:
"Mrs. Rubin, you're a wonderful and holy lady.
Whatever possessed you to say that?"

Estelle's 90-year old husband, Abe, is now trying to hide,
holding his forehead with the palm of his hand and
shaking his head from side to side, while his wife replies:

"Well, I just asked my husband how we could help,
and he said, "Fuck him."

Time to Stop & Stare


What is this life if full of care

We have no time to stand and stare?

No time to stand beneath the boughs

And stare as long as sheep, or cows.

No time to see, when woods we pass,

Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass.

No time to see, in broad daylight,

Streams full of stars, like skies at night.

No time to turn at Beauty's glance,

And watch her feet, how they can dance.

No time to wait till her mouth can

Enrich that smile her eyes began.

A poor life this, if full of care,

We have no time to stand and stare.


William Henry Davies 1871 - 1940

nice but
full of care
about what?

about not so important things, maybe?

thanks

Good one, Jo! Loved the prank call!

Happy Feast George!! May you have many more days/years of blessings as this one... Cheers!!!

Read to the end, you will laugh
just picturing it happening.
I love the thoughts she lives by!!!
I didn't break the elastic...


Don't break the elastic!
In April, Maya Angelou was interviewed by Oprah on her 70+ birthday…Oprah asked her what she thought of growing older.
And, there on television, she said it was 'exciting...'
Regarding body changes, she said there were many, occurring every day.....like her breasts. They seem to be in a race to see which will reach her waist, first.

The audience laughed so hard they cried. She is such a simple and honest woman, with so much wisdom in her words!

Maya Angelou said this:
'I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.'

'I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.'

'I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life.'

'I've learned that making a 'living' is not the same thing as 'making a life.'

'I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.'

'I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw some things back...'

'I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.'

'I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.'

'I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back...'

'I've learned that I still have a lot to learn...'

'I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.'

Please send this tofive phenomenal women today... and back to me if you think i'm one also.
If you do, something good will happen:
You will boost another woman's self-esteem…

If you don't....the elastic will break and your underpants will fall down around your ankles!

Believe me, I didn't take any chances on MY elastic breaking.....I sent it to a lot of special women I care for...

Don't laugh.... It is all true!


Perks of reaching 50

or being over 60
or 70 & heading towards
80 or beyond!

01.
Kidnappers are not very
interested in you.

02.
In a hostage situation,
you are likely to be released first.

03.
No one expects you to run --
anywhere.

04.
People call at 9 PM (or 9 A M) and ask,

'Did I wake you?

05.
People no longer view you

as a hypochondriac.

06.
There is nothing left
to learn the hard way.

07.
Things you buy now
won't wear out.

08.
You can eat
supper at 4 PM.

09...
You can live without sex
but not your glasses.

10.
You get into heated arguments
about pension plans.

11.
You no longer think of

speed limits as a challenge.

12.
You quit trying to hold
your stomach in no matter

who walks into the room.

13.
You sing along
with elevator music.

14.
Your eyes won't get
much worse.

15.
Your investment in health insurance

is finally beginning to pay off.

16.
Your joints are more accurate

meteorologists than the

national weather service.

17.
Your secrets are safe with your

friends because they can't

remember them either.

18.
Your supply of brain cells is finally

down to a manageable size.

19.
You can't remember
who sent you this list.


And you notice these

are all in big print for

your convenience.


Forward this to everyone
you can remember
right now!

AND THE MOST IMPORTANT THING:
Never, NEVER, NEVER,
under any circumstances,
take a sleeping pill, and

a laxative on the same night!

LOL!
thanks for the laughs
and for those smiles!

Pari wrote:Happy Feast George!! May you have many more days/years of blessings as this one... Cheers!!!

Oh ok, it is indeed the feast of Saint George today
well any reason is good enough for celebration, so cheers !
(wow and just checked : wikipedia says that 23d of April corresponds gregorian calendar of May 6th - his actal birthday... double cheers !)

Translation

Dialogue:
Oh, you’re up? I was letting you sleep.
I like your dress, maybe even better when you’re not wearing it.
Let me show you this, I’ve been going online looking for places for us.
I’ve found a small farm in Stjørdal, or “Sjørdarn”. Look at that.

Text:
Some are lucky in life, for the rest of us it comes down to having some guts.
We don’t send our money to Hollywood, we give them out locally.
Sparebank1 - We make things happen together.

Having a Manic Monday ?
Chill out with this ?

Isn't it funny that in the parody bank ad, the woman is beautiful where in the original the woman was quite plain. But, they still had George in it in the magazine. Cute ad!

OK so now today it's officially it's "not my day." I was in my car and opened the trunk to put something in it and there was a bee and a beehive hanging onto the trunk door. No, really. Seriously, how many people do you know have had that experience? I slammed my trunk door down hoping I was seeing things, opened it again and the bee was still there looking at me menacingly. Then I stepped back and knocked the thing off with a metal bar. It fell, not outside, oh no, but into the trunk.

I think I'm going to have that drinky poo Joanna suggested before. LOL

OMFE cindi......how did you get rid of it ?
I had a wasp nest the size of a football inside a bush in the garden
one year and had to get a professional in to take it away.

Cheers me dear !

Joanna, I didn't get rid of it - the bee and it's hive are still in my trunk, probably plotting how to get even with me.

Honestly, you can't make this stuff up. I'm calling in the National Guard before I open my trunk again. LOL

Super dog

A salesman went to visit one of his clients and as he walked through the door he saw a dog cleaning up the office.
As he watched, the dog vacuumed the room
and empted the rubbish bins.

The dog looked up and saw the man watching him
and said to him
"Don't mind me, this is all part of my job".

The man looked at the dog in amazement and said
"Wow a talking dog, does your boss know about this?"

"Please don't tell him" begged the dog
"If he finds out about this he'll have me
answering the phones as well!"

cindigirl wrote:Joanna, I didn't get rid of it - the bee and it's hive are still in my trunk, probably plotting how to get even with me.

Honestly, you can't make this stuff up. I'm calling in the National Guard before I open my trunk again. LOL

Oh cindi...you'll have tell us the sequel !

Good luck tomorrow

ROFL - A talking dog who cleans offices. Bet you wish all dogs could do this - cleaning the house. I wonder where I can get one of those. Positive for you

No offense to Obama supporters or People from Kentucky.

KENTUCKY BARTENDER

A man walked into a bar in Lexington and ordered a drink. While he was sitting at the bar watching TV, one of Obama's political ads came on.
After it went off, he stood up and announced to everyone, "Obama is a horse's ass!"
The bartender reached under the bar and brought out an oak club about 18 inches long and hit the man square across the mouth, knocking him off his stool and onto the floor.
After a minute or two, the man got up, straightened himself up and said to the bartender, "I'm sorry. I didn't know this was Obama country."
"It's not!" replied the bartender. "This is horse country!"