April chit chat
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28 posters
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Re: April chit chat
by Joanna Wed 04 Apr 2012, 13:34
Re the singer on page one....
Found her....Lara Fabian....a French singer.
I've just popped a youtube of her on Music Can thread
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Re: April chit chat
by Katiedot Wed 04 Apr 2012, 14:12
Big hugs to you SillyGirl. We all have bad days.
@Joanna: too late for that now.
@Joanna: too late for that now.
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Re: April chit chat
by cindigirl Wed 04 Apr 2012, 14:46
Joanna wrote:A cat watching Star Wars
Thanks for the vid yesterday. Priceless. Are you sure that's a cat? What happened to his ears. He looks more like a muskrat. LOL
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Re: April chit chat
by Lakin460 Wed 04 Apr 2012, 23:08
Joanna wrote:I think they're being portrayed on a screen and they're on the floor....very good effects though.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
If you're feeling at all emotional, then get some tissues.
Who is this singer Please ??? She's lovely !
http://www.wimp.com/audiencesing/
Found her....Lara Fabian....a French singer.
I've just popped a youtube of her on Music Can thread
WOW!!!!! Really enjoyed that! Thanks!
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Re: April chit chat
by Joanna Thu 05 Apr 2012, 00:10
A golfer is walking down the road carrying his clubs when he sees an Arab being held up at gunpoint.
He pulls out a wedge and smashes it over the back
of the robber's head, knocking him unconscious.
"You probably saved my life," says the grateful Arab. "I am a member of the Saudi Royal Family and I have the power and money to give you anything you desire as a reward."
The golfer glances at his golf bag.
"Some golf clubs would be nice," he says.
Two weeks later, the Sheikh's secretary calls him up.
"We've got your golf clubs," she says,
"But the Sheikh would like to apologise to you in advance:
Only three of them have swimming pools."
He pulls out a wedge and smashes it over the back
of the robber's head, knocking him unconscious.
"You probably saved my life," says the grateful Arab. "I am a member of the Saudi Royal Family and I have the power and money to give you anything you desire as a reward."
The golfer glances at his golf bag.
"Some golf clubs would be nice," he says.
Two weeks later, the Sheikh's secretary calls him up.
"We've got your golf clubs," she says,
"But the Sheikh would like to apologise to you in advance:
Only three of them have swimming pools."
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Re: April chit chat
by cindigirl Thu 05 Apr 2012, 16:27
SO VERY TRUE!
Have you ever been in a situation and you had no clue how it was going to get better, how the hurting would stop, how the pain would ease, but now you look back on it. THAT'S GOD passing us through tribulation to see a brighter day.
Do you think that this e-mail was accidentally sent to you?
Keep this going. You have no idea which one of Your e-mail buddies could use a little hope today!
I have this circle of E-mail and internet friends who mean a lot to me! Some days I "send" and "send." At other times, I let them be.
I am so blessed to have these friends with whom I've grown so close. So this little poem I dedicate to them, because to me they are the "Most"!
When I see each name download and view the message they've sent, I know they've thought of me that day. And "well wishes" were their intent.
So to you, my friends, I would like to say, Thank You for being a part of all my daily contacts. This comes right from my heart.
I'm honored to call you "friend." I pray God will keep you safe.
"What is most valuable is not what we have in our lives, but who we have in our lives."
Have you ever been in a situation and you had no clue how it was going to get better, how the hurting would stop, how the pain would ease, but now you look back on it. THAT'S GOD passing us through tribulation to see a brighter day.
Do you think that this e-mail was accidentally sent to you?
Keep this going. You have no idea which one of Your e-mail buddies could use a little hope today!
I have this circle of E-mail and internet friends who mean a lot to me! Some days I "send" and "send." At other times, I let them be.
I am so blessed to have these friends with whom I've grown so close. So this little poem I dedicate to them, because to me they are the "Most"!
When I see each name download and view the message they've sent, I know they've thought of me that day. And "well wishes" were their intent.
So to you, my friends, I would like to say, Thank You for being a part of all my daily contacts. This comes right from my heart.
I'm honored to call you "friend." I pray God will keep you safe.
"What is most valuable is not what we have in our lives, but who we have in our lives."
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Re: April chit chat
by Joanna Thu 05 Apr 2012, 18:40
Those sentiments are lovely cindi....thank you for sharing them
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Re: April chit chat
by Merlin Thu 05 Apr 2012, 21:48
Happy Easter to everyone who celebrates it....4 days off work HURRAH! 
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Re: April chit chat
by Lakin460 Thu 05 Apr 2012, 22:01
Merlin wrote:Happy Easter to everyone who celebrates it....4 days off work HURRAH!
Happy Easter to you, Merlin! lucky dog! 4 days off. Enjoy!
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Re: April chit chat
by Lakin460 Fri 06 Apr 2012, 00:44
For all those who like to "imbibe".....
BEER TROUBLESHOOTING
SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet.
FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle.
ACTION: Rotate glass so that open end points toward
ceiling.
SYMPTOM: Feet warm and wet.
FAULT: Improper bladder control.
ACTION: Stand next to nearest dog, complain about house
training.
SYMPTOM: Beer unusually pale and tasteless.
FAULT: Glass empty.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.
SYMPTOM: Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights.
FAULT: You have fallen over backward.
ACTION: Have yourself leashed to bar.
SYMPTOM: Mouth contains cigarette butts.
FAULT: You have fallen forward.
ACTION: See above.
SYMPTOM: Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet.
FAULT: Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of
face.
ACTION: Retire to restroom, practice in mirror.
SYMPTOM: Floor blurred.
FAULT: You are looking through bottom of empty glass.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.
SYMPTOM: Floor moving.
FAULT: You are being carried out.
ACTION: Find out if you are being taken to another bar.
SYMPTOM: Room seems unusually dark.
FAULT: Bar has closed.
ACTION: Confirm home address with bartender.
SYMPTOM: Taxi suddenly takes on colorful aspect and
textures.
FAULT: Beer consumption has exceeded personal
limitations.
ACTION: Cover mouth.
SYMPTOM: Everyone looks up to you and smiles.
FAULT: You are dancing on the table.
ACTION: Fall on somebody cushy-looking.
SYMPTOM: Beer is crystal-clear.
FAULT: It's water. Somebody is trying to sober you up.
ACTION: Punch him.
SYMPTOM: Hands hurt, nose hurts, mind unusually clear.
FAULT: You have been in a fight.
ACTION: Apologize to everyone you see, just in case it was
them.
SYMPTOM: Don't recognize anyone, don't recognize the room
you're in.
FAULT: You've wandered into the wrong party.
ACTION: See if they have free beer.
SYMPTOM: Your singing sounds distorted.
FAULT: The beer is too weak.
ACTION: Have more beer until your voice improves.
SYMPTOM: Don't remember the words to the song.
FAULT: Beer is just right.
ACTION: Play air guitar.
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Re: April chit chat
by lucy Fri 06 Apr 2012, 00:52
LOL LAKIN460, waiting for my 22yr. old son to get out of the shower, gonna have him read this before going out this evening.
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Re: April chit chat
by lucy Fri 06 Apr 2012, 01:48
Just had him read it before leaving to a night out with boys. Evening plans bar/game room, dinner than Hungry Games. Hope he thinks while drinking his beer.
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Re: April chit chat
by pattygirl Fri 06 Apr 2012, 14:23
God is sitting in Heaven when a scientist says to Him,
"Lord, we don't need you anymore. Science has finally
figured out a way to create life out of nothing.
In other words, we can now do what you did in the 'beginning'."
"Oh, is that so? Tell me..." replies God.
"Well", says the scientist, "we can take dirt and form it into the
likeness of you and breathe life into it, thus creating man."
"Well, that's interesting. Show Me. "
So the scientist bends down to the earth and starts to mold the soil.
"Oh no, no, no...." interrupts God,
(I love this)
"Get your own dirt......."
"Lord, we don't need you anymore. Science has finally
figured out a way to create life out of nothing.
In other words, we can now do what you did in the 'beginning'."
"Oh, is that so? Tell me..." replies God.
"Well", says the scientist, "we can take dirt and form it into the
likeness of you and breathe life into it, thus creating man."
"Well, that's interesting. Show Me. "
So the scientist bends down to the earth and starts to mold the soil.
"Oh no, no, no...." interrupts God,
(I love this)
"Get your own dirt......."
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Re: April chit chat
by pattygirl Fri 06 Apr 2012, 14:29
Heart Attack and Water - I never knew this! Interesting.......

Something I didn't know either! I asked my Doctor why do I and other people urinate so much at night time. Answer from my Cardiac Doctor = Gravity holds water in the lower part of your body when you are upright (legs swell). When you lie down and the lower body (legs and etc) seeks level with the kidneys it is then that the kidneys remove the water because it is easier. This then ties in with the last statement!
I knew you need your minimum water to help flush the toxins out of your body, but this was news to me.
Correct time to drink water... Very Important. From A Cardiac Specialist!
Drinking water at a certain time maximizes its effectiveness on the body:
2 glasses of water after waking up - helps activate internal organs
1 glass of water 30 minutes before a meal - helps digestion
1 glass of water before taking a bath - helps lower blood pressure
1 glass of water before going to bed - avoids stroke or heart attack
Please pass this to the people you care about......
I can also add to this... My Physician told me that water at bed time will also help prevent night time leg cramps. Your leg muscles are seeking hydration when they cramp and wake you up with a Charlie Horse.

Something I didn't know either! I asked my Doctor why do I and other people urinate so much at night time. Answer from my Cardiac Doctor = Gravity holds water in the lower part of your body when you are upright (legs swell). When you lie down and the lower body (legs and etc) seeks level with the kidneys it is then that the kidneys remove the water because it is easier. This then ties in with the last statement!
I knew you need your minimum water to help flush the toxins out of your body, but this was news to me.
Correct time to drink water... Very Important. From A Cardiac Specialist!
Drinking water at a certain time maximizes its effectiveness on the body:
2 glasses of water after waking up - helps activate internal organs
1 glass of water 30 minutes before a meal - helps digestion
1 glass of water before taking a bath - helps lower blood pressure
1 glass of water before going to bed - avoids stroke or heart attack
Please pass this to the people you care about......
I can also add to this... My Physician told me that water at bed time will also help prevent night time leg cramps. Your leg muscles are seeking hydration when they cramp and wake you up with a Charlie Horse.
Last edited by pattygirl on Fri 06 Apr 2012, 14:32; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : took out a lot of dead space)
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Re: April chit chat
by pattygirl Fri 06 Apr 2012, 14:36
The new Government Symbol
The government today announced that it is changing its symbol to a CONDOM, because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance.... A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of dicks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed!
Damn, it just doesn't get more accurate than that!
* * * * ** * * * * * * * * * * * *
Sorry, I couldn't add the picture of the symbol, but visualize a cute, erect blue condom with a face.
The government today announced that it is changing its symbol to a CONDOM, because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance.... A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of dicks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed!
Damn, it just doesn't get more accurate than that!
* * * * ** * * * * * * * * * * * *
Sorry, I couldn't add the picture of the symbol, but visualize a cute, erect blue condom with a face.
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Re: April chit chat
by Lakin460 Fri 06 Apr 2012, 15:04
pattygirl wrote:Heart Attack and Water - I never knew this! Interesting.......

Something I didn't know either! I asked my Doctor why do I and other people urinate so much at night time. Answer from my Cardiac Doctor = Gravity holds water in the lower part of your body when you are upright (legs swell). When you lie down and the lower body (legs and etc) seeks level with the kidneys it is then that the kidneys remove the water because it is easier. This then ties in with the last statement!
I knew you need your minimum water to help flush the toxins out of your body, but this was news to me.
Correct time to drink water... Very Important. From A Cardiac Specialist!
Drinking water at a certain time maximizes its effectiveness on the body:
2 glasses of water after waking up - helps activate internal organs
1 glass of water 30 minutes before a meal - helps digestion
1 glass of water before taking a bath - helps lower blood pressure
1 glass of water before going to bed - avoids stroke or heart attack
Please pass this to the people you care about......
I can also add to this... My Physician told me that water at bed time will also help prevent night time leg cramps. Your leg muscles are seeking hydration when they cramp and wake you up with a Charlie Horse.
Great info, pattygirl! Thanks for sharing!
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Re: April chit chat
by Merlin Fri 06 Apr 2012, 20:08
Hi Patty I saved the image from your article to my photobucket account then posted it here.
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Re: April chit chat
by pattygirl Fri 06 Apr 2012, 20:15
Oh! I tried the photobucket route a while back. Didn't work for me. I think my brain cells are starting to shut down with all these newfangled contraptions. I'll just let it slide. Getting too old, I guess!
Thanks for the help though. Happy Easter!
Thanks for the help though. Happy Easter!
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Re: April chit chat
by Merlin Fri 06 Apr 2012, 20:32
You're welcome...he does look like half an Easter Egg LOL....
Last edited by Merlin on Sat 07 Apr 2012, 08:00; edited 1 time in total
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Re: April chit chat
by GalaxyLover Fri 06 Apr 2012, 23:18
Hope everyone who celebrates Easter is having a lovely weekend 
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Re: April chit chat
by pattygirl Sat 07 Apr 2012, 13:17
What happens when we are forced to work after age 65.
>
> https://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=19THRdXxmaI
>
>
>
> https://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=19THRdXxmaI
>
>
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Re: April chit chat
by Joanna Sat 07 Apr 2012, 13:30
OMFE...so funny.
It was discussed here on the radio the other day and a chap said...
"Imagine working as a P E Teacher until I'm 68 " Crazy....
Here's another funny one
It was discussed here on the radio the other day and a chap said...
"Imagine working as a P E Teacher until I'm 68 " Crazy....
Here's another funny one
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Re: April chit chat
by it's me Sat 07 Apr 2012, 14:11
funny!!
thanks
luckily I haven't such cashier, today! LOL
thanks
luckily I haven't such cashier, today! LOL
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Re: April chit chat
by Lakin460 Sat 07 Apr 2012, 14:16
Happy Easter, everyone! Headed to Cleveland (Ohio) to spend the holiday with my brother and his family. Always a good time!
See ya when I get back.....
See ya when I get back.....
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Re: April chit chat
by silly girl Sat 07 Apr 2012, 14:37
Happy Easter and Happy Passover to everyone....
Hope everyone who is traveling has a safe trip....and a fun weekend....
Hope everyone who is traveling has a safe trip....and a fun weekend....
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Re: April chit chat
by melbert Sat 07 Apr 2012, 16:55
Safe travels to everyone visiting loved ones. Hoppy Easter to you all!
PattyGirl! LMFAO and peed myself!!!!
PattyGirl! LMFAO and peed myself!!!!
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Re: April chit chat
by cindigirl Sat 07 Apr 2012, 17:13
ROFL on joke patty. I couldn't pull up your link Joanna, sigh.
Happy Easter to all who celebrate. I'll be on my way to my daughter's house in Hamilton, NJ tomorrow. They closed the roads to her house and that means I'll be wandering around like a crazy person. I have NO patience when it comes to driving.
Happy Easter to all who celebrate. I'll be on my way to my daughter's house in Hamilton, NJ tomorrow. They closed the roads to her house and that means I'll be wandering around like a crazy person. I have NO patience when it comes to driving.
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Re: April chit chat
by Joanna Sat 07 Apr 2012, 17:46
cindigirl wrote:ROFL on joke patty. I couldn't pull up your link Joanna, sigh.
Happy Easter to all who celebrate. I'll be on my way to my daughter's house in Hamilton, NJ tomorrow. They closed the roads to her house and that means I'll be wandering around like a crazy person. I have NO patience when it comes to driving.
Just be careful where you park then cindi !!!!
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Re: April chit chat
by cindigirl Sat 07 Apr 2012, 17:56
Subject: Learning to Cuss
A 6 year old and a 4 year old are raking the yard. The 6 year old asks, "You know what? I think it's about time we started learning to cuss."The 4 year old nods his head in approval.
The 6 year old continues,"When we go in for breakfast, I'm gonna say something with hell and you say something with ass."
The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm. When the mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6 year old what he wants for breakfast, he replies, "Aw, hell, Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios.
WHACK!
He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up,and runs upstairs crying his eyes out, with his mother in hot pursuit, slapping his rear with every step. His mom locks him in his room and shouts, "You can stay there until I let you out!"
She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4 year old and asks with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?" "I don't know," he blubbers, "but you can bet your fat ass it won't be Cheerios!"
PASS THIS ON ONLY IF YOU LAUGHED!!!
A 6 year old and a 4 year old are raking the yard. The 6 year old asks, "You know what? I think it's about time we started learning to cuss."The 4 year old nods his head in approval.
The 6 year old continues,"When we go in for breakfast, I'm gonna say something with hell and you say something with ass."
The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm. When the mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6 year old what he wants for breakfast, he replies, "Aw, hell, Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios.
WHACK!
He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up,and runs upstairs crying his eyes out, with his mother in hot pursuit, slapping his rear with every step. His mom locks him in his room and shouts, "You can stay there until I let you out!"
She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4 year old and asks with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?" "I don't know," he blubbers, "but you can bet your fat ass it won't be Cheerios!"
PASS THIS ON ONLY IF YOU LAUGHED!!!
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Re: April chit chat
by pattygirl Sat 07 Apr 2012, 18:10
cindigirl, great one!
I think you should get yourself a GPS, especially if you're not sure where you're going. They're pretty good.
I think you should get yourself a GPS, especially if you're not sure where you're going. They're pretty good.
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Re: April chit chat
by cindigirl Sat 07 Apr 2012, 18:19
I have a GPS patty, but it wouldn't read that road that closed a week ago.
You know more than anyone how much I hate to go somewhere unfamiliar - I have a disease with directions. LOL Sometimes I wish I lived in the city where I could take public transportation.
You know more than anyone how much I hate to go somewhere unfamiliar - I have a disease with directions. LOL Sometimes I wish I lived in the city where I could take public transportation.
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Re: April chit chat
by silly girl Sat 07 Apr 2012, 18:21
So funny cindigirl....I got that one a few days a go from an email friend....I was going to post but deleted by mistake...so cute.
Oh and I know how you feel about directions....detours can be so confusing....good luck and have a great Easter....
Oh and I know how you feel about directions....detours can be so confusing....good luck and have a great Easter....
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Re: April chit chat
by it's me Sat 07 Apr 2012, 18:33
good luck !!
and beware @ pranks!!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=52YQ05jEIMw&feature=relmfu
and beware @ pranks!!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=52YQ05jEIMw&feature=relmfu
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Re: April chit chat
by cindigirl Sat 07 Apr 2012, 18:42
I'm sorry, I couldn't resist sending you this joke. My friend in Texas is a HOOT!
It's so good to finally get a health warning that is useful!!!
INVOLVES THE SHAMPOO WHEN IT RUNS DOWN YOUR BODY WHEN YOU SHOWER WITH IT!!!!
WARNING TO US ALL!!!
Shampoo Warning!
I don't know WHY I didn't figure this out sooner!
I use shampoo in the shower!
When I wash my hair, the shampoo runs down my whole body and, printed very clearly on the shampoo label is this warning,
"FOR EXTRA BODY AND VOLUME."
No wonder I have been gaining weight! Well! I have gotten rid of that shampoo and I am going to start showering with Dawn dish soap instead. It's label reads,
"DISSOLVES FAT THAT IS OTHERWISE DIFFICULT TO REMOVE."
Problem solved!
If I don't answer the phone I'll be in the shower!
It's so good to finally get a health warning that is useful!!!
INVOLVES THE SHAMPOO WHEN IT RUNS DOWN YOUR BODY WHEN YOU SHOWER WITH IT!!!!
WARNING TO US ALL!!!
Shampoo Warning!
I don't know WHY I didn't figure this out sooner!
I use shampoo in the shower!
When I wash my hair, the shampoo runs down my whole body and, printed very clearly on the shampoo label is this warning,
"FOR EXTRA BODY AND VOLUME."
No wonder I have been gaining weight! Well! I have gotten rid of that shampoo and I am going to start showering with Dawn dish soap instead. It's label reads,
"DISSOLVES FAT THAT IS OTHERWISE DIFFICULT TO REMOVE."
Problem solved!
If I don't answer the phone I'll be in the shower!
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Re: April chit chat
by cindigirl Sat 07 Apr 2012, 18:52
Oh jeez Joanna. This is so funny!! I almost fell off my chair laughing. Maybe it's my twisted sense of humor but I think there is something laugh out loud funny about farts.
My son used to purposely fart for his friends and they asked him if he could do yankee doodle dandy.
My son used to purposely fart for his friends and they asked him if he could do yankee doodle dandy.
cindigirl- Happy Clooney-looney!
- Posts : 5313
Join date : 2010-12-06
Location : NJ, USA
Re: April chit chat
by melbert Sat 07 Apr 2012, 22:18
George would pee his pants if he saw that video and then be pissed off that he didn't think of it first!!!!
melbert- George Clooney fan forever!
- Posts : 19324
Join date : 2010-12-06
Location : George's House
Re: April chit chat
by Joanna Sun 08 Apr 2012, 00:07
Sunday School 1
Mrs Lewis, a Sunday school teacher asked her little children one Easter Sunday, as they were on the way to the church service, 'And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?'
Rebecca, a bright little girl piped up,
'Because people are sleeping?'
Sunday School 2
It was Palm Sunday but because of a sore throat, 5-year-old Bobby stayed home from church with a baby-sitter.
When the family returned home, they were carrying
several palm fronds. Bobby asked them what they were for.
'People held them over Jesus' head as He walked by,' his father told him.
'Wouldn't you know it,' Bobby fumed, 'the one Sunday I don't go and He shows up.'
The Lion and the Missionary
A Christian missionary, Jemima, was walking in Africa on
Easter Saturday when she heard the ominous padding
of a lion behind her.
'Oh Lord,' prayed Jemima, the missionary, 'Grant in Thy goodness that the lion walking behind me is a good Christian lion.'
And then, in the silence that followed, Jemima heard the lion praying too,
'Oh Lord,' he prayed, 'I thank Thee for the food which
I am about to receive this Easter time.'
Mrs Lewis, a Sunday school teacher asked her little children one Easter Sunday, as they were on the way to the church service, 'And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?'
Rebecca, a bright little girl piped up,
'Because people are sleeping?'
Sunday School 2
It was Palm Sunday but because of a sore throat, 5-year-old Bobby stayed home from church with a baby-sitter.
When the family returned home, they were carrying
several palm fronds. Bobby asked them what they were for.
'People held them over Jesus' head as He walked by,' his father told him.
'Wouldn't you know it,' Bobby fumed, 'the one Sunday I don't go and He shows up.'
The Lion and the Missionary
A Christian missionary, Jemima, was walking in Africa on
Easter Saturday when she heard the ominous padding
of a lion behind her.
'Oh Lord,' prayed Jemima, the missionary, 'Grant in Thy goodness that the lion walking behind me is a good Christian lion.'
And then, in the silence that followed, Jemima heard the lion praying too,
'Oh Lord,' he prayed, 'I thank Thee for the food which
I am about to receive this Easter time.'
Joanna- George Clooney fan forever!
- Posts : 19431
Join date : 2011-11-17
Location : UK
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