General Chitchat for September.

It is now September 1, 2011. Let's get it started.



Tomorrow starts the Labor Day weekend in US, the last hurrah of the summer. Hasn't been the best summer ever, has it?



We've had exceptionally hot weather, very wet in some parts of country, very, very dry in other parts. We've had torrential rains, flooding, in the East - an earthquake and then a hurricane that was a nailbitter.



Now comes September. Wonder what it will bring. Maybe an early fall but a long one, wouldn't that be great! How about it lasts until Christmas, huh!

Man, i feel for you guys with all that weather you've been having. Hopefully autumn will bring some calmer weather for everyone.

Thanks for the new thread Patty. I forgot that it was September now. whoops!

I'm so ready for fall, heck even winter. I'm hot natured anyways so this 100+ degree heat is killing me.

We can only hope. Hurricane season is around until November so it's hard to breathe easy. Sometimes it's an easy year and sometimes it's not. Mother nature can be a bitch sometimes.

Labour Day long weekend in Canada too. Looking forward to the extra day off.

The hurricanes are a pain this year. I hope everyone stays safe. It's typical end of summer weather here and the intense heat is finally gone. I'm looking forward to the fall, my favorite season of the year.

You're lucky, still quite warm here in NY. Looking forward to end of summer weather. I usually like any season except summer. I love winter except when we have big snows, too expensive for me as I have to pay to have walk cleared. Cost several hundred dollars last winter.



Have a wonderful long weekend, and enjoy extra day off.

Sandwichs my favorite lifetime fall was spent in Canada, never have experienced anything to compare! Looking forward to this weekend in Texas 10-20% chance of rain and a cold front dropping the temps to high 90's!!!!! Not a great fan of high heat, nor of lots of ice, paradise for me would be low 50, high 80.

I'm with you on that one Lucy. I HATE the heat and humidity. I have a friend in Frisco, TX and she suffered through the heat every day. I'm pretty sure she would welcome high 90's instead of low 100's.

Hi patty, I don't appreciate summer either. Hate the heat and humidity, also the expense of air conditioning. Fall is my favorite season.
Too bad you didn't get on chat last night. There were I think just a few of us and we ended up talking basically about everything but George. Go figure, get a few women together and chat, chat, chat. LOL

Hey ladies, someone on Facebook sent a funny to me and thought I'd share with you guys.

A man in a hospital bed wearing oxygen mask over his mouth mumbles "Nurse, are my testicles black?" Nurse raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand & his testicles in the other...she takes a close
look & says, "There's nothing wrong with them Sir." Man pulls off the oxygen mask, smiles at her & says very slowly. "Thanks for that, it was lovely but listen very very carefully. "Are-my-test-re-sults-back?

LOL!

That was great, MGK. I've gotten that one in email. Didn't know we could do jokes. I've gotten a few really good ones, and thought about putting into a thread, but thought Katie might object. Now that you broke the ice, I might do it the next time I get a "good" one.



Cindi, I was bummed that I couldn't get on chat, but truly believe that George would not be the topic of choice. We talk about him so much that the interest in other topics is set aside. Chat gives us a chance to get to know each other in other aspects.



To me the ideal temp spread is 50-75. Anything above 75, I start to melt. I can handle going below 50, just have to add extra clothes. That's an easy solution. Just can't keep taking them off when temp gets high, as much as I'd like to. It would be very traumatic to anyone who saw me.

Agree with you pattygirl, I lost interest in the heat around the time I gave up swimwear!

Go ahead Patti, MGK and anyone else, post as many funnies as you like.

Yay for jokes, Katie. You know George would approve. LoL

I agree with your temperature spread, Patty. The closer it gets to 80 and above, I start melting too.

Speaking of the weather, I was just saying we haven't had rain in over 3 weeks and starting tomorrow night we're supposed to get 6+ inches of rain from the tropical storm in the Gulf. They say it should be spread out over 2-3 days which is good because our ground is so hard an dry it could mean lots of flooding. Be careful what you wish for, I guess. LoL

Hope your rain comes down as normal rain, not a torrential downpour. I think that's what causes the flooding. Hope you don't get and of that TS from the Gulf. I've noticed we don't seem to get gentle rains anymore.

We need rain, my yard is crunchy and brown. Never thought I'd say this but I don't want to get all 6 inches at once.

I hope it spreads out over the 3 days of rain promised to give you the 6". That wouldn't be too bad, 2 a day is good.

here's a new hurricane to think about, I think they named it "Lee". It's around the Gulf Coast now and may be headed to east coast of US. Here we go again.

Oh, you are a bearer of such joyful tidings, cindi. Can't we just pretend that all is right in our world for a while. Well, if it does come, at least this time I'll be home and not worrying from a distance.

Lee is the one that's supposed to bring us all the rain.

Just rain is good! like I said 2" a day would be the ticket.

Sorry for sounding dismal. probably shouldn't have brought it up. In parts of NJ residents are still navigating around in rowboats. I got off pretty easy here though, only a power outage and internet, phone and tv loss thanks to Optimum Triple Play. Don't listen to ads praising the triple play, when one goes, they all go. LOL

Would anybody have any suggestions on how to gain weight? I'm not trying to be facetious, but lost around 25 pounds lately because I deprived myself of eating enough food (shrunk my stomach I suppose). Now I'm trying to "plump" up by eating as much as I can. Isn't working so far. Sigh

Eat small meals, at least 5 a day. Increase amounts slowly, so you can stretch stomach slowly. Don't try to stuff yourself as all that will do is make you feel uncomfortable. Have a milk shake once in a while. Eat healthy foods, including starchy foods like "good" bread, potatoes, corn. Hope you're not a vegetarian, as I understand that they have trouble weightwise (not overweight). Eat meats, not too fatty but not just chicken. It'll happen slowly, but should happen.

Thanks patty. No, I'm not a vegetarian but all the meat I eat is chicken. Will try your method. Should take the advice I've been giving about Eli and eat a hamburger. LOL

I got away with eating 2 small meals a day (only about 600 or 700 calories) for a long time but now it's catching up with me.

Be healthy baby! Definitely a hamburger, once in a while. Plus a steak, some pork chops, maybe some lamb and veal. And don't forget the pasta. Don't neglect the fruits and veggies either. A well balanced diet should gradually put some of that weight back on. Keep it slow and steady. Be well.

Thanks patty for caring. I went out to Friday's today for lunch and guess what I ordered? Chicken! Old habits are hard to break.

Am going to switch to red meat from now on. LOL

Not straight red meat, I hope. You'll get sick, gotta make it a variety. Dont forget the other white meat, pork. Also veal and lamb. Don't forget about chicken either. It should be in the mix.



Hope you enjoyed your lunch at TGIF. Went there Thurs. for lunch. Had a burger.

cindigirl, to all the healthy things you could add a little chocolate.
Put it next to your bed, your computer or your TV, I can assure you it will work.

That's right Dior, forgot about the chocolate, dark chocolate is best.

Forgot about it because I'm not allowed to have it. The caffeine gives me acid reflux.

Cindigirl, wish I had your problem, PG's advice sounds good slow and lot's of variety. Been on a diet for 44 days, lost 36lbs. have to count cals. weigh and measure food, lots of food I limit but trying to use healthier choices and much smaller portions. My cal intake is between 600-900 a day. Hope I can make this a life change after I reach my goal and my calorie intake rises I hate being fat and not fond of dieting!

Congrats on the weight loss Lucy.

Wish I had that problem, Cindi. I agree with Patty. Add some healthy calories back into your diet. And the occasional slice of cheesecake or something won't hurt.

Looks like the rain bands from Lee are starting to move into GA. Hubby and I are going to try to take the motorcycle out for a spin before the rain gets here this evening.

Lucy congratulations on your 36 lb. weight loss. Thanks for your advice Dior, Patty, lucy and Mygirl. Love the advice re. dark chocolate, that's my favorite. I am going to follow the 5 small meal a day plan. That would work for me because I can't eat that much at once.

Thanks again ladies!!!

I just read on local Internet news that the house next to my girlfriend's house blew up from a gas leak. I called her and she's doing OK. Her house wasn't affected. She has had enough bad luck in the past few months to last anyone a lifetime.

Her basement has 6 ft. of water from flood, she just recently wrecked her car and her puppy got run over by a car and killed. I believe bad things happen in 3's. I sincerely hope that's it for her.

Lucy. congratulations on your weight loss, keep up the good work. 36 lbs. in 44 days is really spectacular. Proud of you.



Cindi, know what you mean, dark chocolate is my favorite, too. I just am not supposed to have it - I do cheat though. Small meals will do it. It just takes time. It's the same as with weight loss, slow but sure is the trick. Of course, when trying to gain, you don't eliminate the "fat" producing foods. You make sure you have some of those too. Don't forget those desserts, like cheesecake, ice cream, etc. Just don't do them in place of your 5 meals. Make it a 6th meal.

Hi patty, had a "vanilla bean cheesecake" yesterday at Friday's. It's so good. I'm still working on it to finish it. Going out today to buy dark chocolate (LOL), potatos, corn, meat and any fatty thing I can lay my hands on.

Had the cheesecake the other day myself. Took it to go. No room after lunch. Was delicious.

Just got a joke email. Hope it doesn't upset Canadians on board.


WHORES AND HOCKEY PLAYERS...

A MAN IN A FLORIDA SUPERMARKET TRIES TO BUY HALF A HEAD OF LETTUCE.

THE VERY YOUNG PRODUCE ASSISTANT TELLS HIM THAT THEY SELL ONLY WHOLE

HEADS OF LETTUCE .

THE MAN PERSISTS AND ASKS TO SEE THE MANAGER.

THE BOY SAYS HE'LL ASK HIS MANAGER ABOUT IT.

WALKING INTO THE BACK ROOM, THE BOY SAID TO HIS MANAGER, 'SOME
ASSHOLE WANTS TO BUY HALF A HEAD OF LETTUCE.' AS HE FINISHED HIS
SENTENCE, HE TURNED TO FIND THE MAN STANDING RIGHT BEHIND HIM, SO HE

ADDED, 'AND THIS GENTLEMAN HAS KINDLY OFFERED TO BUY THE OTHER HALF.'

THE MANAGER APPROVED THE DEAL, AND THE MAN WENT ON HIS WAY.

LATER THE MANAGER SAID TO THE BOY, 'I WAS IMPRESSED WITH THE WAY YOU

GOT YOURSELF OUT OF THAT SITUATION EARLIER. WE LIKE PEOPLE WHO THINK

ON THEIR FEET HERE. WHERE ARE YOU FROM, SON?'

'CANADA , SIR,' THE BOY REPLIED.

'WELL, WHY DID YOU LEAVE CANADA ?' THE MANAGER ASKED.

THE BOY SAID, 'SIR, THERE'S NOTHING BUT WHORES AND HOCKEY PLAYERS UP THERE.'

'REALLY?' SAID THE MANAGER. 'MY WIFE IS FROM CANADA .'

'NO SHIT?' REPLIED THE BOY. 'WHO'D SHE PLAY FOR?'

patty - hahahahaha

Rotflmao at that joke Patty.

Mmmmm....vanilla bean cheesecake sounds delish.

MyGirlKylie wrote:Rotflmao at that joke Patty.

Mmmmm....vanilla bean cheesecake sounds delish.

Cheesecake was, right cindi!



Have another joke for you!



In the world of hi-tech gadgetry, I've noticed that more and more people who send text messages and emails have long forgotten the art of Capitalization..
>
> For those of you who fall into this category, please take note of the following statement
>
> "Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse, and helping your uncle jack off a horse."
>
> Is everybody clear on that?

Eeeew jack off a horse. You'd need a VERY tall and 'big' man to do that.

cindigirl wrote:Eeeew jack off a horse. You'd need a VERY tall and 'big' man to do that.

Not really tall. After all, you are using your hand, not your dick.

Ok, I didn't get it.

My friend used to work at a horse breeding farm. He was known as the "pole man"" because he would hold up the female horse's tail so the male horse could postion properly for intercourse.

I'm getting off topic, sorry. I forgot what "jack off" means. Why would anybody want to jack off a horse? Ulterior motive?? LOL

LMAO at the joke!

You would actually need to be short because the horse's 'package' is under
him so a shorter person would be able to reach better. So you need to be
short with big hands to fit around the pony package. And as someone who owns & bred horses over the years, I would suggest a rainsuit for youself due to the amount of 'stuff' that comes out of there.


OMG! Some of our conversations are doozies, aren't they?

Yes, we are really getting raunchy MyGirl.

Cindy, ever heard of artificial insemination? If you have a stud horse, you can't always ship him to the mare, and it's much cheaper to just ship his junk. Then Vet on other end, inseminates mare. Also, you can inseminate several mares with the stuff from one "jack off", as MGK so poetically put it. Make more $$ that way.



Yes, MGK, we do really get easily sidetracked, don't we?

[backs out of this conversation very slowly]

I've helped deliver the foals before but thank God I only had to hold the lead rope during all of that. LOL

That's true about shipping the frozen semen to inseminate more mares. ONly they don't really 'jack off' the horse. They have a model mare that has a tube in it that collects the semen. Kind of like a sex doll for stallions. LOL

LMAO @ Katie. I've lived on a cattle and horse farm since I've been with Hubby so nothing much bothers me. Except smells. I can look at nasty stuff all day but just don't let me smell anything. lol