General Chitchat for January 2012

piccolo....

Very sorry for her loss and my prayers are with her! In the future, I hope she can use her experience to help others.

I'm very sad and sorry for her loss too and here's a children's version of angels that may be of some comfort.

Angels Explained By Children

Everybody's got it all wrong. Angels don't wear halos anymore. I forget why, but scientists are working on it
-Olive, age 9
It's not easy to become an angel! First, you die..
Then you go to Heaven, and then there's still the flight training to go through. And then you got to agree to wear those angel clothes.
-Matthew, age 9
Angels work for God and watch over kids when God has to go do something else.
-Mitchell, age 7
My guardian angel helps me with math, but he's not much good for science.
-Henry, age 8
Angels don't eat, but they drink milk from Holy Cows!!!
-Jack, age 6
Angels talk all the way while they're flying you up to heaven. The main subject is where you went wrong before you got dead.
Daniel, age 9
When an angel gets mad, he takes a deep breath and counts to ten. And when he lets out his breath again, somewhere there's a tornado.
-Reagan, age 10
Angels have a lot to do and they keep very busy. If you lose a tooth, an angel comes in through your window and leaves money under your pillow. Then when it gets cold, angels go south for the winter.
-Sara, age 6
Angels live in cloud houses made by God and his son, who's a very good carpenter.
-Jared, age 8
All angels are girls because they gotta wear
dresses and boys didn't go for it.
-Antonio, age 9
My angel is my grandma who died last year. She got a big head start on helping me while she was still down here on earth.
-Ashley ~ age 9
Some of the angels are in charge of helping heal sick animals and pets. And if they don't make the animals get better, they help the child get over it.
- Vicki , age 8
What I don't get about angels is why, when someone is in love, they shoot arrows at them.

nice
thanks

Cant find Natascha's info so I will post this. There is a scientific study of black bears habitats in Minnesota. Webcams are put into dens to study hibrenation. However, one den has a pregnant bear about to deliver her cubs any day now and you can watch. I thot sure, by her behaviour this morning, that she was going to have those cubs right then!

bear.org
click the CAM tab
select Jewel
if you want to read the chats,where a lot of info is shared, click
Honey and Lucky's den in another window

Thanks playful for the information. I had a look yesterday and will check again soon.

Hope Natasha gets to find out soon

nice
but hope a bit of privacy
in that very moment!

@ playfuldeb: Thank you for the info, but I've known that already and that site is among my bookmarks.

Tonight I will go to see "The Descendants".
Officially, the film starts next week here in Germany, but in our local cinema they have a special event tonight, with free champagne and the film showing on their biggest screen, so I have to go there!

Oh so pleased for you Natasha, on both bits of news !

Have a great evening and tell us all about it ?
Don't get drunk now, remember what George is
doing about that

Oh, that sounds like a lot of fun Natascha! Go and have a wild night - and don't forget to tell us all about it tomorrow!

Have fun Natascha!

Ides of March is on Pay Per View so I'm going to watch it today. It never played at any of our local theaters so I'm finally going to get to see it.

IOM bought my own copy yesterday, guess what I'll be doing this weekend. Enjoy the movies MGK, and Natascha.

WOW!!!!!!!
tell us Natasha!

Got to love older people!

A man was sunbathing naked at the beach.
For the sake of civility, and to keep it from
getting sunburned, he had a hat over his private parts.

A woman walks past and says, snickering,
"If you were a gentleman you'd lift your hat."

He raised an eyebrow and replied,
"If you were better looking it would lift itself."

LOL!!

Joanne - ROFL - short, sweet and oh so true.

My night out yesterday was really fun.
First of all, I have to say I really loved the film and decided to go for a second time, and good for George, the cinema was nearly sold out, on a Wednesday night!!!!
As I told you before, they made this little event around it, a special ladies night. Men were also allowed, but I saw only one.
In the lobby before the cinema they had this little buffet with champagne and sandwiches, one glas and one sandwich per person was included in the ticket, which is a good deal, as they only charged the price they normally charge on a Wednesday night.
In the cinema itself, during the break between the commercials and trailers, they held a little giveaway with bookpackages from the local book store. I didn't win anything, but it was great fun anyway.

Have you read the book Natascha ? It's so good I read it twice !

I haven't read the book yet, but I will definitely do so!

At the wedding reception, the photographer yelled, 'Would all the married men, please stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living.'

The bartender was almost crushed to death.

silly girl wrote:At the wedding reception, the photographer yelled, 'Would all the married men, please stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living.'

The bartender was almost crushed to death.

@silly girl ROFL -good one

Hah! Years ago on one of those executive 'team bonding' retreats the organiser of the event made a mistake like that. At lunch she told us to go and sit next to the person we dislike the most. Everyone was hissing at each other "No, not next to me!!!" It took about half an hour before order was restored and a number of us ate standing up.

Truth will out! That organizer really wasn't very good at the job, huh!

That's one of those experiences which are better in hindsight !

I've been on a Speed Awareness Workshop instead of collecting
3 points on my driving licence. (37 in a 30 area on an empty country road, slap wrist)
One of the rules there was not to talk outside of the group about seeing someone there who you might know.
The organiser then had an anecdote about a husband & wife who
sat opposite each other and didn't know the other would be there !
I bet they had a happy evening when they got home

Joanna wrote:3 points on my driving licence. (37 in a 30 area on an empty country road, slap wrist)
One of the rules there was not to talk outside of the group about seeing someone there who you might know.
The organiser then had an anecdote about a husband & wife who
sat opposite each other and didn't know the other would be there !
I bet they had a happy evening when they got home

Joanna - Sorry about your 3 point and probably fine, ouch, but it must have been that time of the month for the cop (ticket quota time). And I'm inclined to think the married couple's next stop would be divorce court. LOL

silly girl wrote:At the wedding reception, the photographer yelled, 'Would all the married men, please stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living.'

The bartender was almost crushed to death.

BTW, I love some of the new smilies, Katie.

Oh thanks cindi, but I didn't get 3 points by going on the SAW.
Fine plus workshop fee yes, but worth it NOT to get
the penalty points !
Ironically the thing is I only do about 2000 miles a year driving and hadn't been out driving for a couple of weeks when I got caught.
I found it amusing really as I have slowed down a lot
in my old age
One lady moaned all the time as her notification letter arrived
on her Birthday

I love the extra smilies too Katie.

Any more in the pipeline soon ?

The Difference between Grandmothers & Grandfathers - > Have you ever wondered what the difference is between Grandmothers and Grandfathers? Well, here it is: There was this loving grandfather who always made a special effort to spend time with his son's family on weekends. Every Saturday morning he would take his 7-year-old granddaughter out for a drive in his '56 Chevy for some quality time, just him and his granddaughter.
>
> One particular Saturday, however, he had a bad cold and really didn't feel like being up at all. He knew his granddaughter always looked forward to their drives and would be disappointed. Luckily, his wife came to the rescue and said that she would take their granddaughter for the drive.
>
> When they returned, the little girl anxiously ran upstairs to see her grandfather who was still in bed. "Well, did you enjoy your ride with grandma?" he asked. "Oh, yes, Paw Paw, it was really wonderful. We didn't see one single asshole, piece of crap, horse's ass, blind bastard, dipshit, Muslim goat humper or son of a bitch anywhere we went!"
>
> Almost brings a tear to your eye, doesn't it?

Video from UTube- this bird was born into show business.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1U0CKW9TVlw&feature=player_embedded#!

Lmao @ the grandma and grandpa joke, Cindigirl!

silly girl wrote:At the wedding reception, the photographer yelled, 'Would all the married men, please stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living.'

The bartender was almost crushed to death.

I cant stop laughing, too funny!!

nice bird vid
thanks!

The bartender joke is so funny! Love Grandma and Grandpa too. Lucky for me I don't drive so I never have to worry about fines etc. I get taxis into town and they are really lovely down this way. If they like you they press stop on the fare meter at red lights they don't have too so it's up to them. I usually get the special treatment yes I really am that lovely. LOL

Well, we think you are Dex! And that's very important!

"Well, Mrs. O'Connor, so you want a divorce?" the solicitor questioned his client. "Tell me about it. Do you have a grudge?"

"Oh, no," replied Mrs. O'Connor. "Shure now, we have a carport."

The solicitor tried again. "Well, does the man beat you up?"

"No, no," said Mrs. O'Connor, looking puzzled.
"Oi'm always first out of bed."

Still hopeful, the solicitor tried once again.
"Well, does he go in for unnatural connubial practices?"

"Shure now, he plays the flute, but I don't think he knows
anything about the connubial."

Now desperate, the solicitor pushed on.
"What I'm trying to find out are what grounds you have."

"Bless ye, son. We live in a flat -- not even a window box,
let alone grounds."

"Mrs. O'Connor," the solicitor said in considerable exasperation,
"you need a reason that the court can consider.
What is the reason for you seeking this divorce?"

"Ah, well now," said the lady, "Shure it's because the man
can't hold an intelligent conversation."

***************************************************

Mike and his pregnant wife live on a farm in the distant rural regions. No running water, no electricity, etc.

One night, Mikes' wife is begins to deliver the baby.

The local doctor is there in attendance.
"What d'ya want me to do, Doctor?"

"Hold the lantern, Mikey. Here it comes!" the doctor delivers the child and holds it up for the proud father to see.

"Mike, you're the proud father of a fine strapping boy."

"Saints be praised, I..."

Before Mike can finish the Doctor interrupts, "Wait a minute.
Hold the lantern, Mikey."
Soon the doctor delivers the next child. "You've a full set now, Mikey. A beautiful baby daughter."

"Thanks be to..."

Again the Doctor cuts in, "Hold the lantern, Mikey,
Hold the lantern!"
Soon the Doctor delivers a third child.
The doctor holds up the baby for Mike's inspection.

"Doctor," asks Mike, "Do you think it's the light
that's attracting them?"

ROFL on the jokes Joanna. I especially like the Mike and babies one.

I wonder if she had any more - hope the light wasn't too bright

Obviously brighter than Daddy !

I like this one...

Damn women drivers!

Everyone reading this will enjoy it - no matter which gender you are.........

This morning on the Interstate, I looked over to my left and there was a
Woman In a brand new Cadillac

Doing 65 mph

With her face up next to her rear view mirror

Putting on her eyeliner.

I looked away
For a couple seconds...

to continue shaving

And when I looked back she was

Halfway over in my lane,

Still working on that makeup.

As a man, I don't scare easily.

But she scared me so much;

I dropped

My electric shaver

Which knocked

The donut Out of my other hand.

In all the confusion of trying

To straighten out the car

Using my knees against

The steering wheel,

It knocked

My Cell Phone

Away from my ear

Which fell

Into the coffee

Between my legs!

Splashed,

And burned

Big Peter and the Twins,

Ruined the damn phone,

Soaked my trousers,

And disconnected an important call.

Damn women drivers!

RFOL patty

Brilliant pattygirl ! I'll pass that on

Big Peter and the Twins

awful drivers
but Mike and the light is priceless!

Dang just watched the latest comments roll past, to many by lucy, so good night, love you.

Children Are Quick
____________________________________

TEACHER: Why are you late?
STUDENT: Class started before I got here.
--------------------------------------------------------
TEACHER: Kathy, go to the map and find North America ..
Kathy: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Kathy.
____________________________________
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
(I Love this child)
____________________________________________
TEACHER: Adela, what is the chemical formula for water?
Adela: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
Adela: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
__________________________________
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Glenn, why do you always get so dirty?
GLENN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
_______________________________________
TEACHER: Harriette, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '
Harriette: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
Harriette: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
________________________________
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.....

(Now, this child suits me to a "T".)
_____________________________________
TEACHER: Now, Simon , tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook. (LOL!)
______________________________
TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's.. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.

(I want to adopt this kid!!!)
___________________________________
TEACHER: Diane, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Diane: A teacher
__________________________________

PASS IT AROUND AND MAKE SOMEONE LAUGH!
LAUGHTER IS THE SOUL'S MEDICINE!!

Love the jokes patty.

Great truths about life that adults have learned


Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.

There is always a lot to be thankful for if you take the time to look. For example: I'm sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.

One reason to smile is that every seven minutes of every day someone in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring.

Car sickness is the feeling you get when the monthly payment
is due.
The best way to keep kids at home is to make a pleasant atmosphere and let the air out of their tires.

Families are like fudge....mostly sweet, with a few nuts.

Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
Laughing helps. It's like jogging on the inside.

Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.
My mind not only wanders; sometimes it leaves completely.

If you can remain calm, you just don't have all the facts.

A 10 year old boy just knocked on my door with a shy smile and asked if I wanted him to clear the snow off my car. At first I thought, oh how SWEET. Then I realized it was just a way for him to make some money. See, the sweet sentiment came out first then reality.

Joanna I love your life thoughts - I'm going to adopt one a day. LOL

I just watched a video of Brian Williams (Rock Center) interviewing George about Brad Pitt and Brian refers to Brad's mustache as a "flavor saver." That's one of the funniest comments I ever heard. LOL

Joanna great life truths. Thanks for the laughs.