March general chit chat

is to who?

@Joanna -
LOLOLOLOL!

great frog!

Lesson learned Lakin - don't piss off a frog. LOL

He deserved that! LOL Poor frog. The doggy heaven story actually made me cry. So sweet! And I love that old man, I think I know him. LOL

Oh right Dexter....
I hope you'll be very happy together then

A few thoughts on cat baths....by The Cat:

'But You Said You Loved Me!'
'You will pay, as God is my witness, you will pay.'
'Holy crap, you call this water warm???'
'I don't think I like you anymore.'
'You Lied !!!!!!'
'E.T. Phone home......quick! '
'No, I'm not your Good Little Kitty anymore.'
'Traction... .I'm losing Traction!'
'I want my Mommmmmmyyyyyyyyyyy !'
Oh Hell No !!!!

Even if you're not a 'cat person' these thoughts are priceless!!

DIFFERENT WAYS OF LOOKING AT THINGS

Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex,
marriage, and family values.
Bill said, 'I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?'
Larry replied, 'I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?'
___________________________________________

'Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully,'
the divorce Court Judge said, 'And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week,'
'That's very fair, your honor,' the husband said.
'And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself.'
__________________________________________

An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can
remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.
The Wizard says, 'Maybe, but you will have to tell me
the exact words that were used to put the curse on you.'
The old man says without hesitation, 'I now pronounce you man and wife.'
__________________________________________
Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder:
1. The DNA all matches.
2. There are no dental records.
__________________________________________
A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks,
'Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City ?'
The agent replies, 'Just a minute.'
'Thank you,' the blonde says, and hangs up.
_________________________________________

Moe: 'My wife got me to believe in religion.'
Joe: 'Really?'
Moe: 'Yeah. Until I married her I didn't believe in Hell.'
__________________________________________
A man is recovering from surgery when the Surgical Nurse appears and asks him how he is feeling.
'I'm O. K. But I didn't like the four letter-words the doctor used in surgery,' he answered.
'What did he say,' asked the nurse.
'Oops!'
__________________________________________
While shopping for vacation clothes,
my husband and I passed a display of bathing suits.
It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since
I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought my husband's advice.
'What do you think?' I asked.
'Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?'
'Better get a bikini,' he replied. '
You'd never get it all in one.'
He's still in intensive care.
_________________________________________
The graveside service just barely finished, when there was massive bolt of lightning, followed by a tremendous clap of thunder, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance...
The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said,
'Well, she's there.'

Lmao @ the jokes, Cindigirl!

cindigirl wrote:A few thoughts on cat baths....by The Cat:

'But You Said You Loved Me!'
'You will pay, as God is my witness, you will pay.'
'Holy crap, you call this water warm???'
'I don't think I like you anymore.'
'You Lied !!!!!!'
'E.T. Phone home......quick! '
'No, I'm not your Good Little Kitty anymore.'
'Traction... .I'm losing Traction!'
'I want my Mommmmmmyyyyyyyyyyy !'
Oh Hell No !!!!

Even if you're not a 'cat person' these thoughts are priceless!!

sure!
priceless

as those DIFFERENT WAYS OF LOOKING AT THINGS


LOL!!

Life Lessons

I've Learned....That life is like a roll of toilet Paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

I've Learned....That we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.

I've Learned....That money doesn't buy class.

I've Learned...That it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.

I've Learned... That under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.

I've learned....That the Lord didn't do it all in one day. What makes me think I can?

I've learned....That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.

I've learned....That the less time I have to work, the more things I get done.

Hi all! I’ve not posted in quite a while because I needed a break. But I noticed that I’m being talked about and thought I’d make my presence known.

@ CCSY, You know I will not post a response to you in Stacy’s thread because the girl hasn’t done anything to me to disrupt her thread talking to you. I will however post something on her thread about her X Factor audition later. But right now, I need to confront you on this issue about you thinking I know Kirstie Alley. I do not know her. And for the next matter, I do not know George, Stan or anyone associated with them. You sound like someone whose been dissed a lot and I want to be the first one to tell you that no matter how unfairly you’ve been treated in your life, God loves you and so do I. I hope the best for your life and hopefully you will find a better way of expressing your grief. And I am being serious just in case you have second thoughts about what I’m saying. May you find peace someday soon!

Hi Cinders...good to see you back !
Nice message too....

Hey cindi...those last 3 are great.
I'm sending them on, thanks

Nice to see you too, Joanna. Love your new avatar!

Those are great, Cindigirl! Thanks for sharing!

Just for us here on OH....Fantastic PR's United


Terms used when writing up performance appraisals for Public Relations Employees
and the real meanings of the words

Good Communication Skills - Spends a lot of time chatting on the telephone
Average Employee - Is not too bright
Exceptionally Well Qualified - Has made no major blunders yet
Work is her First Priority - Is too ugly to get a date
Active Socially - Drinks a lot
Family is Active Socially - Spouse drinks, too
Independent Worker - Nobody knows what he is doing
Quick Thinking - Offers plausible excuses
Careful Thinker - Won't make a decision
Uses Logic on Difficult Assignments - Gets someone else to do them
Expresses herself well - Speaks English
Meticulous Attention to Detail - Is a nit picker
Has Leadership Qualities - Is tall
Exceptionally Good Judgement - Is very lucky
Keen Sense of Humor - Knows a lot of dirty jokes
Career Minded - Is always stabbing colleagues in the back
Very Loyal - Can't get a job anywhere else

Joanna wrote:Just for us here on OH....Fantastic PR's United


Terms used when writing up performance appraisals for Public Relations Employees
and the real meanings of the words

Good Communication Skills - Spends a lot of time chatting on the telephone
Average Employee - Is not too bright
Exceptionally Well Qualified - Has made no major blunders yet
Work is her First Priority - Is too ugly to get a date
Active Socially - Drinks a lot
Family is Active Socially - Spouse drinks, too
Independent Worker - Nobody knows what he is doing
Quick Thinking - Offers plausible excuses
Careful Thinker - Won't make a decision
Uses Logic on Difficult Assignments - Gets someone else to do them
Expresses herself well - Speaks English
Meticulous Attention to Detail - Is a nit picker
Has Leadership Qualities - Is tall
Exceptionally Good Judgement - Is very lucky
Keen Sense of Humor - Knows a lot of dirty jokes
Career Minded - Is always stabbing colleagues in the back
Very Loyal - Can't get a job anywhere else

Funny, funny, funny! Sending this onto coworkers!

great jokes today girls!

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/david-cameron/9155494/Barack-Obama-tucked-David-Cameron-up-in-bed-on-Air-Force-One.html
By Murray Wardrop1:42PM GMT 20 Mar 2012

The Prime Minister said the US President offered him use of his bed on the plane as the pair flew back to Washington after watching a basketball match in Dayton, Ohio last week.

Mr Cameron said: “On the way back, it was about 4 o’clock in the morning UK time, so he said ‘David, why don’t you use my bed
and put your feet up’.

“So I duly did and Barack went to the back of the plane and explained to my private secretary and the team, he said
‘Don’t worry, the British Prime Minister is fine, I’ve just tucked him up in bed’.
“I don’t think that’s happened before.”

Speaking at a business awards ceremony in his Oxfordshire constituency filmed by Witney TV, Mr Cameron likened the anecdote to amusing situations Sir Winston Churchill and Baroness Thatcher experienced alongside their US counterparts.

He said: “I think all Prime Ministers and Presidents like to think they bring something to the special relationship … a special anecdote.

“We remember the story of Winston Churchill when he stayed in the White House and he was in the bath.
Roosevelt walked into the bathroom and Churchill stood up and said 'The British Prime Minister has nothing to hide from the President of the United States'.

“We also remember the time Margaret Thatcher said to
George Bush senior ‘Don’t go wobbly on me George’.”

Mr Cameron also joked that he had struggled to maintain the attention of Michelle Obama when he sat next to her at a White House banquet last Wednesday because of other guests at the table.

He quipped: “I had the huge honour of sitting next to Michelle Obama. The only problem was the man on her other side was George Clooney and I found it quite difficult to compete.”

LOL I bet he isn't the first man to feel that way.

Can you imagine what it would be like when GC takes one of GF's to a restaurant for dinner? Within 10 seconds, all the women in the room would stop looking/listening to their men and just gawk at GC? I would choke on my food and need a heimlich.
When he came to Sydney last year (alas I was in Melbourne) one of my ex-coworkers was lucky enough to be in the same room as him, and although he was apparently very eloquent and articulate during his speech, all she heard was blah blah blah blah, she's not the type to be rattled or speechless, but in her words "" I was gobsmacked by his beauty""

OOOOOOO, KATIEDOT & the cybderspace "tupperware party" matronly attendees and all their multiple sockpuppets must confer...
Oooooo, time to pop more mother's little helper.
time for more happy gas.

Military camp training. Because her finishing school was bombed!
If you don't agree with her forum she'll spank you.

KATIEDOT banned George CantStandYa.
He nailed her ass in a debate on imdB and neurosis-stricken KatieDot ordered him off!!!
KATIEDOT IS A PHONY who is employed by Stan Rosenfield to do Clooney's PR with her pathetic cyberspace gnomes.

And she's SO secure in her own job. Thinks George will just make her change "direction." When he's ready.

HAIL DRILL SERGEANT, KATIEDOT!

Quick Thinking

A man in the Safeway Store in Texas tries to buy half a head of lettuce. The very young produce assistant tells him that they sell only whole heads of lettuce. The man persists and asks to see the manager. The boy says he'll ask his manager about it.

Walking into the back room, the boy said to his manager, 'Some asshole wants to buy half a head of lettuce.' As he finished his sentence, he turned to find the man standing right behind him, so he added, “And this gentleman has kindly offered to buy the other half.” The manager approved the deal, and the man went on his way.

Later the manager said to the boy, 'I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who think on their feet here. Where are you from, son?' ' Canada , sir,' the boy replied. 'Well, why did you leave Canada ?' the manager asked.
The boy said, 'Sir, there's nothing but whores and hockey players up there.' 'Really?' said the manager. 'My wife is from Canada .'

'No shit?' replied the boy. 'Who'd she play for?'

It's OK ladies...there ARE some decent people in our world


Stay Calm, Dad

A 5-year-old talks on the phone with 911 while her dad is having difficultly breathing.
Don't leave too soon. This little girl is not only smart, but very funny.

http://www.maniacworld.com/stay-calm-dad.html

Joanna, that video is so adorable. Thanks for sending. The woman on the tape looks like Bonnie Hunt.

Hey Cinders! Good to see ya again.

I'm so irritated! My mom has worked for her company 20+ years and they are being complete bastards to her now that she is going through chemo and has to use her sick time. They basically threatened her job over something stupid minor detail, yesterday. Her friend's daughter is an attorney and a call has been placed to her to discuss a discrimination case against them. F-ing pricks!

we all are with you
good luck!

Sorry to hear about your mom's troubles in work. I know how it is in the working world. It's all about productivity. I went through it myself. Please tell her to fight them to the nth degree.

A Florida Court Sets Atheist Holy Day!

Gotta love this Judge!


You must read this......
A proper decision by the courts...
for a change.



A FLORIDA COURT SETS
ATHEIST HOLY DAY

In Florida , an atheist created a case against Easter and Passover Holy days. He hired an attorney to bring a discrimination case against Christians and Jews and observances of their holy days. The argument was that it was unfair that atheists had no such recognized days.

The case was brought before a judge. After listening to the passionate presentation by the lawyer, the judge banged his gavel declaring, "Case dismissed!"


The lawyer immediately stood and objecting to the ruling saying,
"Your honor, How can you possibly dismiss this case? The Christians have Christmas, Easter and others.
The Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah, yet my client and all other atheists have no such holidays..."
The judge leaned forward in his chair saying, "But you do. Your client, counselor, is woefully ignorant."
The lawyer said," Your Honor, we are unaware of any special observance or holiday for atheists."
The judge said, "The calendar says April 1st is April Fool’s Day. Psalm 14:1 states, 'The fool says in his heart, there is no God.' Thus, it is the opinion of this court, that, if your client says there is no God, then he is a fool. Therefore,
April 1st is his day.

Court is adjourned..."

You gotta love a Judge that knows his scripture!


This is too good not to forward!

Love that little girl. Already concerned about what she is going to wear so cute. Love the judge too. Sorry to hear about your mum and her work troubles, devotion to your job seems to count for very little these days.

MGK, sorry to hear about your mom's trouble, she's been though enough. That's the way it's seems to be now a days can remember a time when people worked for a company their entire lives and had something when they grew to old to work.

Sorry about your Mom MGK....that stinks. Keep strong....it will work out....your Mom needs to keep positive...sending prayers your way~

cindigirl wrote:Joanna, that video is so adorable. Thanks for sending. The woman on the tape looks like Bonnie Hunt.

Yup, George's girl Bonnie!

MGK, your mom is a strong woman and she'll beat those bastards!!!

Video, frustrated dog trying to play.

http://www.wimp.com/throwstick/

Very funny cindigirl, that dog looks like she/he is part border collie, have one of those named her"girl have you got some explaining to do LUCY!" not my avatar pic that's CHARLIE BEARA. Any way border's are the smartest dogs I've ever seen. Lucy sits a watches everything I do with such focus that I know she's thinking "if I had thumbs I could do that soooooo much better than you".

Sign !!! LINK

I just came back from watching 'Hunger Games.' I don't want to burst anyone's bubble if they want to see this. But this is a two and a half hour long movie and it's like one looong reality show where everyone is trying to do each other in. For what good reason I don't know. For anyone who's into the reality show 'Survivor' you'll love it. I went to keep my girlfriend company because she wanted so much to see it. I told her she owes me. LOL

Anyway there went two and a half hours of my life I'll never get back. LOL

I've read the books..found them boring too.

Merlin, I read the reviews and this movie didn't live up to the hype. It was more like a teenager movie, something like 'Twilight.'

Since the Harry Potter series, and Lord of The Rings, seems like everyone is trying to make it rich with something to attract the tweens/teens age group. Haven't read the books but don't think I'll bother now.

I was wondering about the books. I asked my brother about them yesterday, he reads everything he loves that sort of thing. He said he hadn't bothered which pretty much told me all I needed to know. Sorry the movie disappointed I do love Survivor though!

After seeing Hunger Games yesterday I thought what I posted was just being snarky. Felt bad. But here's an overview of the movie from Huffington Post.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/03/23/the-hunger-games-bad-review_n_1376563.html

I yestersay saw Moulin Rouge
horrible

I mean
the film is great

too much sad
the end

We usually moan about the weather here in the UK but today has been fabulous..like a summer's day even though it's only March...so nice to be able to put my washing out in the garden ...sad I know LOL...

sad?
you lost me...

Sad in this sense means maybe a little bit embarrasing for finding something like this exciting.

I have to say, Merlin, that I just love those first days of spring when you can finally feel that winter is going. There's nothing like watching clean washing out on the line.

ok, capito

and yes, it's fine to see all clean washing flying in the breeze