General Chitchat for November

RFOL patty that was soooo funny. Maybe the hotel guy who answered would comply with her request. LOL

great actor
really versatile


http://trovacinema.repubblica.it/multimedia/curiosita/piccoli-rambo-crescono-il-bebe-che-fa-il-verso-ai-film/31007656/1/1?ref=HRESS-14

More funnies:

Girl goes back to her apartment and says to her Blond roommate, I slept with a Brazilian man last night. The Blond replies: OMG you sl*t! how many is a Brazilian???

what did one boob say to the other boob? "stop sagging, you're going to make us look like a couple of nuts!"

Beauty Tip #34: When having a bad hair day, just wear a low cut blouse!"

Wife says to her husband, "Your boss called today and said you were fired." Husband says, "F*CK HIM!" Wife says, "I already did. You go back to work on Monday."

@Patty... How did you hear about my phone call last night?

@MyGirlKylie Funny!

No fair. I didn't go to restroom first. At least no coffee cup.

Too much.

LOL Oldies but goodies.

Lmao @ the hotel joke, Patty!

MyGirlKylie wrote:Beauty Tip #34: When having a bad hair day, just wear a low cut blouse!"

ROFL MyGirl, my favorite joke.

News item from Sunday Sun November 2008

Retirement forecast for TV weatherman Bob Johnson

Nov 30 2008 by Pauline Holt, Sunday Sun

THERE’S a wind of change at Tyne Tees as weatherman
Bob Johnson bows out
after 17 years of warm fronts and wonderful anagrams.


Bob, who’s 65, retires in three weeks’ time and will do a special final broadcast on Friday, 19 December, from Alnwick Garden in Northumberland.

tell me! don't understand... where is the fun!??!

Before the 2001 inauguration of George Bush, he was invited to a get
acquainted tour of the White House.


After drinking several glasses of iced tea, he asked outgoing President
Bill Clinton if he could use his personal bathroom.


When he entered Clinton 's private toilet, he was astonished to see that
President Clinton had a solid gold urinal!

That afternoon, George told his wife, Laura, about the urinal. “Just
think,' he said, 'when I am President, I too could have a gold urinal. But I
wouldn't do something so self-indulgent!”

Later, when Laura had lunch with Hillary at her tour of the White House,
she told Hillary how impressed George had been at his discovery of the fact
that, in his private bathroom, the President had a gold urinal.

That evening, when Bill and Hillary were getting ready for bed, Hillary
smiled, and said to Bill:
“I found out who pissed in your saxophone.

Okay... I am so jealous! My Uncle who lives in LV just showed me a picture of... YES, he went to the wax museum and had his picture taken with... YES, George! I asked him why he didn't wear the wedding dress... and I haven't heard back from him.

I want to see the real one...

really?

Yes... my whole family teases me about George... and my Uncle's side of the family are getting together this weekend but he's unable to attend... so what does he do for his favorite niece... YES tease me... I love him!

Obama Meets Tonto

No matter what side of the fence you are on, this one is bound to make you smile!!!

Barack Obama and Tonto went camping in the desert. After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep.

Some hours later, Tonto woke the president and said, "Kemo bro, look towards sky, what you see?"

Obama replied, "I see millions of stars."

"What that tell you?" asked Tonto.

Obama pondered for a minute then said, "Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning. Theologically, Mother Nature is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What's it tell you, Tonto?"

Tonto says, "Obama, you dumber than buffalo shit. It means somebody stole the tent."

LMAO @ the jokes Patty! Loved the one about the saxaphone.

Here's one for ya:

At one point during a game, the coach called one of his
9-year-old baseball players aside and asked,

'Do you Understand what cooperation is? What a team is?' The little boy nodded in the affirmative.

... 'Do you understand that what matters is whether we win Or lose together as a team?' The little boy nodded yes..

'So,' the coach continued, 'I'm sure you know, when an Out is called, you shouldn't argue, curse, attack the umpire, Or call him a pecker-head. Do you understand all that?' Again the little boy nodded.

He continued, 'And when I take you out of the game so Another boy gets a chance to play, it's not good sportsman- ship to call your coach 'a dumb asshole' is it?' Again the little boy nodded.

'Good,' said the coach.

'Now go over there and explain all that to your grandmother.

Some simple explanations:

ADULT:A person who has stopped growing at both ends
and is now growing in the middle.
BEAUTY PARLOR:A place where women curl up and dye.
CANNIBAL:Someone who is fed up with people.
CHICKENS:The only animals you eat before they are
born and after they are dead.
COMMITTEE:A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
DUST:Mud with the juice squeezed out.
EGOTIST:Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.
HANDKERCHIEF:Cold Storage.
INFLATION:Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.
MOSQUITO: An insect that makes you like flies better.
RAISIN:Grape with a sunburn.
SECRET:Something you tell to one person at a time.
SKELETON:A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.
TOOTHACHE:The pain that drives you to extraction.
TOMORROW:One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.
YAWN:An honest opinion openly expressed.

and MY Personal Favorite!!
WRINKLES:Something other people have,

have,

....and?

If anyone is interested, this is the most incredible acrobatic dance I've EVER seen.

https://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=GsTqmEeBKhw&vq=medium#t=41

nice, thanks
but I guess many women know what does it mean live an acrobatic LIFE!

CindiGirl - OMFP!! A M A Z I N G!!!!!!!!!!!
She must weigh about 12 1/2 ounces!! I'd kill the guy the first attempted lift!!!

For that one person you wish you could have Thanksgiving with this year: There are moments in life when you wish you could bring someone down from Heaven. Spend the day with them just one more time, give them one more hug, kiss them goodbye or hear their voice again. One more chance to say I LOVE YOU. Copy and paste in remembrance of someone who is not here.

thanks
tears are rolling down
now....

please stop it
it's not an easy day
here...

It's Me, I am sorry you're having a not so easy day there, but I am respectfully asking you to please not tell anyone to "stop it". If anyone wants to share their feelings, they have every right to do that.

PattyGirl, your message was beautiful.

the message was beautiful
sure
really sweet


but in this moment I can't bear it



sigh

it's me, sorry I made you sad. That wasn't my intention. Am sorry you're having a bad day. Hope tomorrow is better.

I hope too

thanks

This is a busy week, lots of running around to do before the holiday, so I wanted to say Happy Thanksgiving to all my US peeps in case I don't have a chance later in the week.

Happy Thanksgiving, MyGirlKylie! And all the other Americans on this forum!

Hi it's me, I'm sorry if you are having a bad day. Here's a little bit of advice:

Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can't eat it or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.

Works for me. LOL

LOL @ Cindigirl. I've always heard that quote as "If you can't eat it or hump on it, just pee on it an walk away"

Happy Thanksgiving to all my fellow COH posters who celebrate this wonderful holiday.

Just a personal side note to all: I think I'm gonna not post for a while, nor read anybody's posts, as I've been finding all the negatives really getting me down, and I definitely don't need any downers during the holidays. If I peek in and see that things are getting more upbeat, I'll say hi, okay. Meantime, know that I love you all and hope that your days and nights are filled with wonderful things and thoughts.

@MyGirl, or you can get drunk and not care if you ate, peed or humped it. LOL

Sorry, just needed to lighten up the mood after George's "traumatic" visit to the football game.

HAPPY TURKEY DAY PATTY.

MAMA'S BIBLE

Four brothers left home for college, and they became successful doctors and lawyers.

One evening, they chatted after having dinner together. They discussed the Christmas gifts they were able to Give their elderly mother who moved to Florida .

The first said, "You know I had a big house built for Mama."

The second said, " And I had a large theater built in the house."

The third said, "And I had my Mercedes dealer deliver an SL600 to her."

The fourth said, "You know how Mama loved reading the Bible and you know she can't read anymore because she can't see very well. I met this preacher who told me about a parrot that can recite the entire Bible. It took Ten preachers almost 8 years to teach him. I had to pledge to contribute $50,000 a year for five years to the Church, but it was worth it. Mama only has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot will recite it."

The other brothers were impressed. After the holidays Mom sent out her Thank You notes.

She wrote: " Milton , the house you built is so huge that I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole House. Thanks anyway."

"Marvin, I am too old to travel. I stay home, I have my groceries delivered, so never use the Mercedes. The Thought was good. Thanks."

"Michael, you gave me an expensive theater with Dolby sound and it can hold 50 people, but all of my friends Are dead, I've lost my hearing and I'm nearly blind. I'll never use it. Thank you for the gesture just the Same."

"Dearest Melvin,

You were the only son to have the good sense to give a little thought to your gift. The chicken was delicious. Thank you so much."

Love,
Mama

Happy Turkey Day Patty. Everyone needs a break now & then. I hope you'll at least post here in the ChitChat section.

FYI, the DamnYouAutocorrect site cracks me the hell up. I can waste wayyyyy too much time on there. LOL

Happy U.S. Thanksgiving this week! Is anyone brave enough to partake in Black Friday shopping? I would avoid the stores like the plague but I hate shopping.

I'm with Patty. I don't like most of the threads on here anymore. I'll look at the pics and general info but as far as any g.f. goes I'm staying away from those threads. Claws are out in full force. It's not pretty.

It's pretty ugly! I don't post much on those threads anymore, either... Patty, I'll know you're lurking just like me. Love to all... the holidays can be depressing without the one you love especially when you pile negative words on top of it... Really missing my Dad and cat! God bless to all!

sandwiches wrote:Happy U.S. Thanksgiving this week! Is anyone brave enough to partake in Black Friday shopping? I would avoid the stores like the plague but I hate shopping.

I would rather have a beating than go shopping on Black Friday. That's what the internet is for! I don't like shopping anyways but even less on a crazy day like that.

{{{HUGS}}} about your dad and your kitty, Cinderella.

We're staring to get Black Friday sales up here, which is odd since we don't have such a thing. But if it means I can get online deals then I'm all for it.

Cinderella.

Cinderella I was so sorry about the recent loss of your cat and so sudden too. It's devastating to lose a pet. I know, my family lost two dogs in the past 6 months.

@pattygirl
The exchange of opinions is most interesting when as many as possible post. I always liked your point of view. It would be very sad if you'd stop posting for good. Every loss is . I hope to read your opinion/posts any time soon.



PS. and Happy Thanksgiving to all Americans on this site

I give you this, enjoy!



Click here: http://www.flashfunpages.com/couple.swf

too funny PattyGirl! Thanks!

sandwiches wrote:We're staring to get Black Friday sales up here, which is odd since we don't have such a thing. But if it means I can get online deals then I'm all for it.

We have Cyber Monday (the Monday after T-giving) for the online deals. Although last year, I found a lot of the same stuff that was on sale in the stores also available online during the Black Friday sales.

LOL, good one Patty.

Happy Thanksgiving to all of our neighbors from the south of the border.
We already enjoyed ours in October, we are ahead of you in this.
Now we are in the process of loosing those extra pounds which we gained from overeating all the goodies.

Have a Happy and Peaceful Thanksgiving.

PattyGirl I hope you will post again.
But I have to admit that things are not going well on this forum lately. It is getting unpleasant if you get a red mark for posting a joke in "General Chitchat" thread.

Loved it Patty! I was one of the women who didn't listen...