George & Amal's Wedding Reception - Video Excerpts

Everybody’s at least a little drunk, each for his or her own reasons. The most popular drink at the packed bar is George and Randy’s newest creation, Matrimigos (loosely, “I marry my friend”).
A videographer records messages from the guests to the newlyweds.

Stan
I don’t comment on my client’s personal life. (Off-camera voice, unintelligible) What? Oh, right, we’re at the goddamned wedding. (Into camera) George, can’t tell you how much I want you to keep this one. Just give me a year of free weekends without some hack tracking me down. All I ask. Jesus Christ, how many times did I have to roll out that lame-ass line for you? (Voice) Again with the…Oh, I can’t say that here. What, lame-ass? Oh, the Jesus Christ part… Well, look, glad you found Alma (Off-camera voice) …Amal. Sorry. I don’t have my notes with me… (Looks off-camera, agitated) Jesus Fucking Christ, what now? (Looks right into camera, stretches his lips horizontally across his teeth.) Congratulations, George and… Amm…your new wife… (Under his breath) Serves me right for waiting until after the “I do’s” to remember her name.

Rande
(Slurring; lapping a drink) George, buddy, never thought I’d see the day. You shocked me, your wing man. I don’t get it, George. You always asked me about a certain…type… you know. And then you go and do this. Could’ve used more of a heads up, you know? And how the fuck do you go and find the only woman in the world who looks like a cross between you and Cindy? That’s… It’s almost like you can be looking at yourself and banging my wife at the same time. Wait. That’s pretty fucking creepy. (Downs the drink, waves for another) No hard feelings, George. Never. Me and you. Next commercial we do, though, I got Amal on my side when you and Cindy insist your bed scene needs 43 fucking takes. I never bought that, man… But, hey, you’ve got Amal now, so all that kidding around about crushing on my wife should stop. No, seriously, that shit is over.

Grant
(Hides his drink off-camera) Love you, George. Love you, Amal. And I love you together. (Listens politely to off-camera voice) No, really, that’s all I want to say… (Voice) Okay. Uh, Amal’s a great girl. Can’t wait to hang out with her. Lysa feels the same way. George, you know that patch you have in your spinal cord…? Well, I had to get one on my tongue, I’ve had to bite it so many times. I mean, I’m too old for your love life. And so were you. Should have said something, but you know, you don’t like confrontations and we had all the projects back-to-back… I’ve said too much… One of these days, I’ll tell you about the time Lysa and I had to stay up all night after that double date with you and, um, what was her name?...Doesn’t matter… me thumping my wife over and over again on the top of her head ‘cause her eyes had rolled so far up… That was terrible of me. I’m a little drunk. Can you tell? ‘Cause I’m truly in shock. The liquor’s not really helping. I’m still… I should stop talking. Cut everything after the first thing I said. (The camera, goes side-to-side, in a ‘no’ motion) Don’t show George this thing until I fix it in post.

Brad Pitt
(Eyes glazed) Congrats, dude, you beat me to it. Had to show me up, didn’t you? Well, listen, I’m sure Amal’s as super as they say, but, you know I have Angie. Amal is no Ange-fucking-lina, okay? I win the wife contest. Okay? It’s one thing to fly to every high court in the world and show off your smarts on some high-rolling bloodsucking tyrant’s dime, but tell her to try holding refugee babies at the drop of a hat when she’s got 6 kids of her own and cancer hanging over her head. I-C-C…? I ain’t impressed. No fucking contest, bud. You want people to think you finally have somebody Angie can be friends with…? They get together, my Angie will activist your wife under the table. Count on it. And I don’t care how many languages she speaks. She shows up at my house, she better bring fucking Rosetta Stone with her. (Off-camera voice) Who says I’m mad? I’m not mad. Do I sound angry to you? (Spins around at another voice, from the crowd behind him) Who said that? Show me. Angie is prepping a movie. No, she did not stay away to avoid the comparison. (Stalks away)

"I'm too old for your love life. So were you."   

We've wasted so much time on this forum, waiting for George to do an interview or have a picture taken so we'd have something to talk about. WE COULD HAVE BEEN MAKING IT UP THE WHOLE TIME!. And it's more entertaining that reality!

LOL. Love the Matrimigos! I'll take one.....

looool !!!!

Way2Old - Are you sure you don't do this for a living? "My Angie will activist your wife under the table"!    And poor Stan! You should be writing for Saturday Night Live.  

Excellent, yep loved Grants line the best "Im too old for your love life, so were you" but Rande takes the cake

I heard that this message was sent to George from Sandra Bullock. Lol

  

Way2 I choked when I read this on the Stan one:  "Oh, I can’t say that here. What, lame-ass? Oh, the Jesus Christ part… Well, look, glad you found Alma..."

These all were just too funny and yes I do think you do this for a living because you are just too fucking good at it.

Thanks for the laughs here and the last few days in the ex-girlfriends congratulate him thread. Definitely needed all the laughs!

       

Thanks Way2old4dis...I love Rande's part too funny   

This was great to read      

They are all great Way2Old. Thank you so much for your time to do this, and for sharing your sense of sarcasm, er, I mean humor   

:-) Depends how loosely you want to use the phrase "make a living."

But thank you, my peeps.

Just Re-Read all of those....So funny and I imagine so near accurate its uncanny !

  

I knew it  I knew it  I knew it.  

He got married and Way 2 was the only one that got to go.                

I had to re-read too. 

Way2, you are just WAY2FUNNY!!!!

I just read the description - "jokes, lies and videotape" - too funny. Missed that last time.