Dream Job Application. Position: George Clooney’s Girlfriend

Found this online. Yes I am soooo busy that I am trawling online.....


Dream Job Application. Position: George Clooney’s Girlfriend

For those of you who have been following me on Twitter over the last couple of years, you know that I really love three things: True Blood (yay), Fashion (yay), and George Clooney (double yay). To be honest, I can’t explain my love for the last thing (person) on that list; but if I had to guess, I would say it’s due to countless stories of his “nice guy” tendencies, how sharply dressed Nespresso has him in their European ad campaign, and his humorous cameos at the Emmy Awards. In short: I love George Clooney. And naturally, after hearing about his split from Stacy Keibler, like most women, I think I’d be the perfect candidate to fulfill the desirable (and now open) position at Clooney Incorporated: George Clooney’s Girlfriend.

While I’m sure he has applications flying in from every direction, I really think I understand the position better then most. Let’s go over a couple of the job details, shall we?

- Duration of Job: 2 Years. Never more, never less.

- Location: Italy. That said, bottom line: George is a citizen of the world; love of travel is a must.

So far, so good. And the perks?

1) A front row seat at The Oscars; no acting experience is required.

2) Riding in fast cars (with George Clooney), riding on the back of motorcycles (with George Clooney), cruising on private yachts (with George Clooney), wining and dining around the globe (with George Clooney)…

3) Living situation? Private villa on the edge of Lake Como (in Italy…with George Clooney).

While I don’t feel the need to prove just how great of a career choice this would be (’cause we all know it would rock), this post is helping me improve my application. Then again, every job has a list of cons to go along with its seemingly endless list of pros. Off of the top of my head, here are a few:

1) PDA is limited to handholding and longing stares. George never kisses in public (like, never).

2) Keeping a wandering eye in check could be a problem; his BEST FRIEND is Brad Pitt (come on, you KNOW you’d check him out).

3) Paparazzi turning close up photo of previously mentioned wandering glance at Brad Pitt into an US Weekly cover. Whoops. Note: This one’s a biggie, as I’m sure it’s grounds for job termination.

Now, after carefully considering the above list of cons, I think I speak for women everywhere when I say that, “…there is no way to avoid checking out Brad Pitt.” We’ll have to figure that one out (somehow, TBA). Either that, or I’ll have to stick to my current career path (editor). You know, because this job I’m applying for would be so easy to get otherwise…


Link

I understand her point about it being tricky to check out Brad - that's an obvious perk

theminis wrote:I understand her point about it being tricky to check out Brad - that's an obvious perk

I have no problem with him not a fan. I think it would be fantastic, like all the other women I guess I would think that I was the one.

Boring story. Very boring.

Yes I woke up with wrong foot and I´m still in bed
lost my sense of humor somehow overnight  

 

Oh one thing more, the tittle is misleading. I thought here is an application, online form I can fill and submit! But no!  

Just upload some butt pics, that will do.
Love will find you  

Carla97 wrote:Oh one thing more, the tittle is misleading. I thought here is an application, online form I can fill and submit! But no!  

Me Too!

And I was already going over my qualifications  

I thought the story was very well wrote and kept you reading thru the end.
But we are mere mortals and will never know the likes of George, or Brad.

Honestly?! There must be some pathetically desperate gossip magazine contributors out there!

This is a farce that ridicules Clooney with suggestions in the context that he needs to hire Z-list, plain entertainers who obsessively stay fit to keep something going for their average bodies so they can pose on Photoshopped semi-naked photos online....

This is like hiring an escort longterm!
Sad! Who on earth writes this garbage?? It's not even funny!

playfuldeb wrote:I thought the story was very well wrote and kept you reading thru the end.
But we are mere mortals and will never know the likes of George, or Brad.

Speak for yourself, Miss.

Am on my way to Okanaga as I write for some G hunting

playfuldeb wrote:I thought the story was very well wrote and kept you reading thru the end.
But we are mere mortals and will never know the likes of George, or Brad.

Mere mortals, Deb?
What a way to put people down!
So George Clooney & Brad Pitt are Ubermensch or demi-deities?  Because the media in the Western world popularized them?  

Someone really should let Matt Damon's or Jeff Bridges' wives know that they broke protocol as "mere mortals."  

Does that notion of "mixing with the deities" apply to  the wrestler Stacy  or the soft-porn topless-nun Z-lister "actor" Elisabetta or cocktail waitress Sarah?  Or was that their contractual role?

Articles like this render George Clooney a ridiculous, predictable cliche.  Doesn't he have damage control teams?   

So he hasn't been able to find a partner by 52...hence jokes  are made at his expense!

Well, he isn't the only one who doesn't have a partner.
My studies on that dating site revealed that the "mere mortals" do have the same problem.
If it is a problem for them at all, some men are very happy to stay single and follow their primitive instincts, you know....

@Dior
Men's "primal instincts" of sexual drive diminish as they get older. They peak in their early twenties and then it's all downhill. Possibly why Viagara was invented.

Women, on the other hand, peak at 29 and stay consistant with their libido or slightly lower, right into their senior age.  They get periodic hormonal surges.
Biological anomalies between the sexes?

We don't really know what George Clooney wants now, do we, Dior?   Some men may suffer from mid-life crisis & be deluded about their sexual prowess or virility.
Especially if they believe it's pivitol to their success....
Sad.  

Yes, some men & women prefer to stay single. For lack of finding anyone to fulfill them as a companion.
It's not intrinsic to our nature as a species to be solitary. Like cheetahs or even amoeba....

For all we know, George Clooney may have a discreet companion he keeps hidden from the public. One who appears to be working for him, hence travels with him....
One who's not comfortable or ready for media scrutiny.  

Dior wrote:Just upload some butt pics, that will do.
Love will find you  

Sounds good
but
who´s butt pics?
Mine? This is confidential and I hope it stays just here  
umh, in the world wide web
I asked if I could snap a little pic and post it here
No no, appears my butt is very camerashy!

I´m doomed, love is lost, no butt photo to navigate here.  

My goodness, talk about over-analysing meaningless fluff. This is just a comedy piece by someone fantasizing being George's girlfriend. You read the same jokes and comments everywhere about 'where do I sign up to be the next one' or 'get in line'.

It's just a bit of lighthearted fun not social commentary.

Carla97 wrote:

Dior wrote:Just upload some butt pics, that will do.
Love will find you  

Sounds good
but
who´s butt pics?
Mine? This is confidential and I hope it stays just here  
umh, in the world wide web
I asked if I could snap a little pic and post it here
No no, appears my butt is very camerashy!

I´m doomed, love is lost, no butt photo to navigate here.  

OMG, Carla!
This is so sad.

I feel with you, sending you love and hugs  

Maggy wrote:

Carla97 wrote:Oh one thing more, the tittle is misleading. I thought here is an application, online form I can fill and submit! But no!  

Me Too!

And I was already going over my qualifications  

 

Imagine next red carpet event all George CLooney ladies lining up behind the barrier and George comes up to sign autographs and he will receive from everyone a "dating application" hahahaha Funny.

Oh, a bikini competition?

Hope it will not be in a cold country.

Maybe better this way.
After application is accepted
what happens then
it´s like the beginnig of the end
Time flies when you are having fun and then one day
you log into here and see that they have made you own thread. Nice!
Think again, it´s in the ghost section, ex-old girlfriend, your name the newest add to the list "What did I do wronk?" -you ask. "I wanted to give you the rest of my life" but he doesn´t want it, he wants his own.
maybe they have poll too and you´ll score high
in who´s the all time ugliest and dumbest of all of them!  

Seriously he doesn´t have historically speaking tremendously long attention span with his GFs.

juliette hardy wrote: Someone really should let Matt Damon's or Jeff Bridges' wives know that they broke protocol as "mere mortals."

Thank you for that, Juliette. Spot on.

Wow Juliette, my comment about US being mere mortals was meant ot be taken lightly, as in joking around. It was not a put down at all. So sorry you took it sooooo seriously and that someone else had to commend you on your seriousness against me by giving you a green stripe. No prob, no more comments from me on any threads you post on so I wont offend your sensibilities anymore. God forbid I may hurt your feelings again

Oh no playfuldep. Keep posting    

I'm sure lot of people understood it as a joke even me and I'm none english     HA

What ever you say there will be always somebody who as a different opinion and read the words different as you mean to write them. That's life. Let it not put you down or anyone else in this forum. We are all "crazy" ladies with hormones and waiting for our man to show himself     We are all after the same thing  

"I got lucky, I fell in love with a civilian." 

 

I like his comment. Such an easy nice guy

Oh what happened.

Thought Joanna postet something about Matt Damon and I comment but now the post from Joanna disappeard. Maybe I creating my own conversation now. Oh boy

Yes I did post about Matt.....but it looked all weird with  extra stuff on so deleted....Lol

I like him referring to his wife as a civilian !

No offence taken if it was just a joke, Deb. A bit hard to detect it as such when reading the post as it seemed so matter-of-fact.... 

But, alas, it's not just my "sensibilities" you may have offended if it were not written in jest, by stating
"But we are mere mortals and will never know the likes of George, or Brad,"
but possibly others casually reading here, I feared....

Let's not forget George's sister & mother are "mere mortals" too,  as are many of his closest friends. Same with Brad Pitt & his next of kin.  
We all bleed & pass away too one day... us "mere mortals."

In return, I hope you didn't take my reply as criticism.

Let's not forget George was (and strange to say, probably he will be no more) a mere mortal himself too

Mmm...but he's still mortal, per se.
Can he part the Red Sea, turn water into wine, cause tsunamis, rain deluges, earthquakes??    

Ok, I'm kidding. Science can actually do all that too.

He's a powerful, renowned man and life can never be ordinary for him given his iconic status.  He can be regarded as a cultural leader and his name & legacy will live on in human history...

But he's still a mortal human being.  

.... Are u sure?

For appearance purposes, yes!
Satellite toys don't count.

But there are so many unexplored & inexplicable phenomena, who knows?  

Right
Who knows?    

i would like to submit,where is the application form?

i like this idea very much,it is something between crazy and real....
So i would like to submit with link below to get the chance for this job

Juliette Hardy wrote:Mmm...but he's still mortal, per se.


He's a powerful, renowned man and life can never be ordinary for him given his iconic status.  He can be regarded as a cultural leader and his name & legacy will live on in human history...

But he's still a mortal human being.  

I really don't know what makes a legacy.

If, and again I don't know, this Disney film appeals in a big way to little kids....then that could help consolidate G.....My memory of stories, movies music, etc, introduced to me as a child are far more powerfull, colourfull than those of say 10 years ago.  I hope this role introduces a whole new fan base, one that will never forget, little children don't........x

Beautiful D'aniela!

d'aniela wrote:i like this idea very much,it is something between crazy and real....
So i would like to submit with link below to get the chance for this job

Enjoyed the song and the singing... although I did not understand the language, it was beautiful thanks for sharing...

It was Celine Dion's song
Right?

Titanic one

yes,here is the english version

d'aniela wrote:yes,here is the english version

Sad... not playing for me d'aniela