Ulrika Jonsson: George Clooney needs a real woman with a real life

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Ulrika Jonsson: George needs a real woman with a real life

By ULRIKA JONSSON

LOVELY George Clooney. After little more than 12 months it’s said you are bidding farewell to your latest squeeze, wrestler Stacy Keibler. For those of us standing on the sidelines, watching the twists and turns of your love life, not as much as an eyebrow is raised.

By now we are familiar with gorgeous women coming in and out of Mr Clooney’s life more often than I schlepp to Costco’s. The wrestler could now be consigned to the dustbin of life, that list of stunning former conquests unlikely to ever again have a better shot at waking up next to the epitome of “handsome”.

Despite having been married some 20 year ago, George looks increasingly unlikely to ever commit to that institution again.

In the early days before he hadn’t quite made it, there was Kelly Preston, who was clearly too ambitious because she went on to marry a bigger star at the time, John Travolta. Then the momentary blip, Clooney’s marriage to actress Talia Balsam which made such an impression on him that he effectively ruled out ever marrying again.

He went on to date lawyer Celine Balitran, the reality star Sarah Larson, actress Renee Zellwegger and even leggy British model Lisa Snowdon and, more recently, MTV presenter Elisabetta Canalis.

Variety is certainly the spice of Clooney’s life.

Perhaps the only two things they have in common are their beauty and their lack of demands.

After all, there is no point in demanding something from one of the world’s most devastatingly handsome men if he isn’t going to give it to you. These women — stunning, leggy, independent — have been incapable of penetrating the high walls Clooney has built around himself.

He’s been, labelled a commitment-phobe for failing to get hitched, have kids or, better still, adopt half a dozen from a poor part of the world.

I see things differently. I see a man committed to the relationships he’s in — providing the other party understands it is unlikely to mean a trip down the aisle. A man who thrives on the company of beautiful women, adores and worships the allure of women and loves to surround himself by that.

I see no mid-life crisis, no warning bells, no adult insecurities nor a man who promises one thing and delivers something else.

Would we prefer him to have settled down ten years ago, only to find he does an Andrew Marr round the back of the bike sheds with someone other than his significant other? No, I think his honesty should be admired.

Where I might offer him some guidance is his choice of women.

They have all taken the “George Clooney Vow of Short-Term & Limited Commitment” for fear of losing him. They abandon their own hopes and dreams of settling down, of establishing a more “real”, down-to-earth relationship — all for the chance to dance, briefly, with him on his stage, his limelight.

I bet it’s all dinners at fancy restaurants, first-class trips to exotic locations, film premieres and cocktail parties. Not many moments of breaking wind, of “No-sex-George-I’ve-got-a-headache, or cystitis”, no trips to Costco’s, no arguments about who takes out the rubbish or who is too tired to cook supper.

They share with him, for no matter how short or long a time, a gilded life, a life of high days and holidays. These women are part superhuman, part one-dimensional — they offer him no taste of real life.

So, if it now really is over between Clooney and the wrestler, might I make a proposal. Not of marriage you understand, but one of a relationship with a woman who has lived a little, one well versed in the doldrums of weekday life, a mature woman — perhaps who is a single parent.

Surely there’s a single mum of four out there willing to offer him a different, more realistic view of life — another dimension.

Not me, obviously. I’m too wrinkly, not stylish enough and my legs are simply too short.