George Clooney knows how to say goodbye

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

This afternoon I saw the new George Clooney movie “The Descendants” and I’m a blubbering mess.

Mind you it’s not quite as bad as the time I went to see Colin Firth in “A Single Man.” I didn’t know anything about the plot but I like Colin Firth and thought that a movie would be a good distraction for me after the weekend of my partner Bill’s funeral. It turned out that “A Single Man” is the story of a gay man coming to terms with the sudden death of his long-time partner. I sat through it in shock watching my life up on the screen. I came home afterwards, cried for four hours, and then cleaned for four hours.

I had seen the movie trailer for “The Descendants.” It looked like a comedy to me. And I’d go to a movie with George Clooney reading the dictionary.

“The Descendants” is not a comedy. Well, not mainly.

I don’t have to issue a spoiler alert here because I’m not going to give away any key surprise elements of the storyline.

Early in the film we learn that Clooney’s wife is dying. He has to help various people say their goodbyes to her - two daughters, the wife’s parents, close friends.

And, he has to say his own goodbyes, made rather challenging because theirs is a complicated relationship.

But what relationship isn’t complicated?

Every one of us will at some time in our lives be confronted with the imminent death of a loved one. Many of us already have. Our mother. Our father. A sibling, a child, a close friend. Our partner, lover, soul-mate.

All of these relationships in our lives are complex and replete with some resentment.

There is the temptation to postpone saying our goodbyes. Perhaps, we’re refusing to acknowledge the inevitable. It might be a hesitation grounded in pride, regret, or anger. Maybe we’re too traumatized or just too awkward.

My advice, not that you’re asking for it, is: Don’t be afraid. Do it before it’s too late. Say your goodbyes.

Bill and I said our goodbyes — for which I am forever thankful. I describe our story on the short 2 minute YouTube video at [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

If you don’t trust my word, go and see George Clooney’s character in “The Descendants” say his goodbyes. You may be forever thankful.

* * *

My memoir “August Farewell” tells the story of the two weeks between Bill’s diagnosis with pancreatic cancer and his death. Interspersed among the scenes are vignettes from our thirty-three years together as a gay couple.

In my opinion, it is better to say Good-bye, than to live in an unhappy relationship, is unhealthy for either partner and they both can miss out on finding genuine love.

When it comes to death, you can dwell on the thought (if you are of a Christian faith) that one day you will be united again.

I haven't seen the Descendants yet because of where I live (cow town)
but I can't wait till I do.

I didn't want to read all
bec I don't want any kind of spoil
even if it was said there weren't any

anyway
I'm faithful (want/need to be) about seeing eachother
afterwards

but
WANT
a right amount of time
HERE TOO!

Me, what would be "a right amount of time"? There is never a right amount of time. We always want more - just one more day, month year, hour, minute , second. There is always something we wanted, needed to say, do. Just one more touch, kiss, embrace. Just one more - something.

one more
sure
I perfectly know

but for a really deep
devastating feeling
it just needs a moment




anyway, as you said,
we all know
we always want MORE


to me
a right, decent amount of time
can be hmm.....
5

maybe 5 years
of 'magic' time

than
we can struggle with real life probs

e guarda che sto parlando seriamente

When someone says they want 5 yrs of something... IMHO they are selling themselves short. There is no way on God's green earth I would sell myself to George or anyone for 5 years of anything. I'm already owned, by the Lord above and He sends me where I go. But to sell myself, NO! No offense It's Me, I hate to see you sell yourself short.

selling?

you are wrong babe

I meant buying!

well
stop kidding
I was meaning something like

'God, please, gave us 5 good years

with no such things as losting ppl
or getting seriously sick'

then I'll be ready to fight again



too bad?
utopian?

who cares
I'll keep asking

What makes the years good? Even in a utopian world, people die, people get sick, people even leave, because your utopia may not be the utopia he/she wants. Good years are still filled with all the emotional baggage that exist. You love, fight, talk, interact with your family, friends and acquaintances. Utopia is for you, that part you hold within, that part you share with your special someone who it closest to you, locked within your heart. It coexists with the mundane, everyday existence we all live. You create this space within and that lasts until that last goodbye, the one you never want to happen. Since you created your utopia, you'll have it always and it is a part of the good years, as well as the bad. If fact, this is what gives you the strength to get through the bad and recover.

Pattygirl, you are so right!

Cinderella and Pattygirl, all greens to you both!!! I couldn't have explained it better!!! +

Where are you It's me??? You need a boxing!!!
Here!!! TING TONG!!! LAAAAAAA

a boxing?
why?! cos'ho fatto?







You create this space within and that lasts until that last goodbye, the one you never want to happen.

hmm... ok
mi hai convinto

you were convincing

now it's important to keep alive those thoughts

and maybe getting them to start no?

The moment we put our fear of the "years" / tag a relationship with a time-frame, it can no longer remain REAL... the deadline is all that will loom large with worry and anxiety festering in it... either to finish or the not-wanting to finish something precious or not...

And why should you "sell" yourself for anyone It's me... so what if your man is George??? Any "transaction" in the relationship will also not make it sturdy REAL... You are more precious than all the grandeur of love put together, FOR SOMEONE who can simply give it to you for straight and REAL...

Dreaming of all that "magic time"... and the "good years"... will just make your love slip away also like a dream... Everything in the air, in the realm of fantasy... When it gets REAL, you cannot but see the "magic" of it all... and be filled with awe at just how "good" it got REALLY meant to be... all with the "every moment" LIVING of it, in sharing the togetherness...

I love what Cinderella and Pattygirl put together... REAL magic + good

this real word
is nice
but
still
unreal


anyway Pari & Cinderella
no way to sell anything
here
you were wrong

my thoughts were very well caught by Patty

tell me: what made you think about selling?

Yea boxing!!! One fine day, you will fall in love so deeeeply you'll go boxing all the dictionaries to find better words to describe it... better than "utopia" and "magic" and the TINGS and the TONGS... hahahhahahaaa!!!

O It's me!!! Go back up thread and see darling...
-selling?

you are wrong babe

I meant buying!.

What does the "selling" and "buying" mean???

LOL !!! LOL !!! LOL !!! LOL !!! LOL !!! LOL !!!

O It's me!!! Go back up thread and see darling...
-selling?

you are wrong babe

I meant buying!.

What does the "selling" and "buying" mean???

at first I was kidding
but you are keeping this selling thing
so

cut it

and instead enjoy some good food
or wine

Hmmmm... nice!!! Ooooooooo now you set my dreamy head wandering....

I better put that poetry down somewhere...

only for a while, please!


have to ge me 2

ciaoooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Just Jesus said in the Bible, "Can you any of you, by worrying, add a moment to your lifespan?" What this means is, make every moment in this life count, focus on the present, and make the most of today.

My philosophy is, "Live your life well and responsibly, so that you will have no regrets."

Well said MM

Jesus was a wise man and I like your philosophy MM

If you haven't seen "A Single Man", I highly recommend it.

thanks girls for those sentences

You are more precious than all the grandeur of love put together, FOR SOMEONE who can simply give it to you for straight and REAL...

Utopia is for you, that part you hold within, that part you share with your special someone who it closest to you, locked within your heart. It coexists with the mundane, everyday existence we all live.

grazie
veramente grazie

belle
parole

It's me

vero

non mie, ma di Pari & Patty


ciao!